The Diminishing Vegan

Veganism and Weight Loss

Category: During (Page 1 of 3)

Vegan in Mostar

Vegan in Dubrovnik

This summer our family went to Dubrovnik in Croatia for a week, with 3 out of 4 of us now vegan, and 1 mostly vegetarian, it’s safe to say I was a little bit concerned with vegan options.

We always go self catering on holiday, which means we had a decent kitchen, the downside being that you have to cook on holiday, but hey, I’m used to it, it’s the price to pay for being a vegan mother of two!

Happy Cow showed a few options, and I used Instagram too (#dubrovnikvegan mainly), and did plenty of research. We were staying in the area called Lapad, and additionally to Dubrovnik we also had a day trip to Montenegro, and a day trip to Bosnia Herzegovina, and I’m pleased to say I found a vegan option for every day.

 Nishta

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Vegan in Dubrovnik

On out first full day we visited the full vegan restaurant of Nishta. Nestled in Dubrovnik’s old town, there was a 45 minute wait for a table, it really is a small restaurant. They change menu daily so if you are there for a week you can have something different daily. We had chilli, nachos, raw sushi, a falafel wrap and a mince pancake. It was nice, some of the food better than others. I didn’t love the sushi, and the pancake was a little weird but the rest was very enjoyable.

Chihauhua Cantina Mexicana

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This Mexican restaurant is in Lapad, a 10 minute walk away from our apartment and worth a trip out if looking for delicious vegan options. It must be booked ahead of time, they will do their absolute best to fit you in, but one night we went it was a bit of a wait, so the second time we went I reserved a place.

The staff were so friendly and 100% knowledgable on what vegan meant, pointing out all of the options and modifications they can make. We had a burrito, fajitas, rice and chips and all of it was was completely delicious. It was handy having such a great place nearby, and the price was very good.

Ombra Caffe & Lounge Bar (Kotor, Montenegro)

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This little restaurant is in Kotor in Montenegro, and had limited options but the pizza and chips on the menu were delicious. The restaurant is in a little square in Kotor old town, and there was plenty of space. We visited around lunch time and didn’t need to book. Kotor was a nice little town, the views were spectacular, it would have been nice to spend some more time here exploring but we were only there for a few hours.

Food House Restaurant (Mostar, Bosnia)

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Vegan in Mostar

Food House is in Mostar in Bosnia, and I’ve got to say this was the best food of the trip. The plate of veggies, salad, rice and casserole was just delicious, I was almost sad we were only there for one day! The seating is on a lovely little cobbled path in Mostar. The city itself was lovely, but tinged with sadness for the remnants of the war are everywhere. It is definitely worth a trip to though if you are in Croatia and can do a day trip to Bosnia, or in any of the surrounding countries.

Bon Appetit Bistro

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On our last night we travelled to the port of Dubrovnik, Gruz, and visited a little Bistro. We had salad with seitan, bruscetta and chia pudding. It was all nice, the bruscetta was the best bit, and it was a nice end to our trip.

Additionally to eating out, can I just say that the bread in Croatia is something else, I ate so much I practically came back loaf of bread shaped. I made some delicious pasta dishes, had tasty fresh olives, and there is a chain of german health food shops (DM) that had plenty of tofu, delicious sausages and many options. Most of the supermarkets also had a section with dairy free milks, yoghurts, grains, so there were plenty of options if you are doing the cooking.

We would love to go back to Croatia one day, the people were so friendly and the weather was glorious. There are so many places to visit in Dubrovnik, we did a game of thrones tour of the old town, walked the city walls, visited the Island of Lokrum (my favourite thing we did), went up the cable car to the war museum, had a day at the beach, really, it was an action packed holiday, and we could go back and find even more to do I suspect.

Thanks for reading, let me know if you have made this or something similar, or maybe you have your own one pot recipes to share? You can find mon InstagramFacebookTwitterMy Fitness Pal and Fitbit. Add me on any or all, I love new friends on all social media for support and updates from me!

Weight loss competitions don’t work

At my new workplace, my department has a fairly regular weight loss competition which is completely optional to take part in. There is a set of scales in the office which we all use to weigh in. I believe this has ran multiple times before I started, but as I have only been there a few months, plus I really want to finish losing weight, I decided to join in. It ran for 13 weeks and there are a number of financial rules and penalties which go like this – 

  • Weigh in on Friday of week 1
  • Every subsequent week you weigh in on Friday within an hour of arriving at the office. (there are a number of rules in place for when you are off on the Friday/on holiday for multiple weeks)
  • Every week every person pays £1
  • If you lose between 0 – 1 pound you pay an additional £1 penalty = £2 per week
  • If you lose more than 1 pound you only pay the original £1 = £1 per week
  • If you gain weight you pay a £5 penalty = £5 per week 

Everyone is ranked on their overall percentage lost, and at the end the money is used to pay for a meal and a night out for those who took part (and anyone else who wants to join but pay for themselves). I thought, “hey, what could be bad about this?” Surely this will give me the motivation I need? I was back up to 190 pounds, the weight I have been at for over a year (give or take ten pounds at most). During the first few weeks I really got back into the gym, five times a week, three times a week weights, twice a week cardio. My eating was okay, not perfect but reasonable. I lost about 5 pounds and after week 2 I was second! I knew I was going on holiday soon so really tried hard. 

Then, around came my time of the month, and the week before it I had to pay my first £5 fine. I knew my weight always goes up (a lot) at period time. My stomach severely bloats (even more than usual) and water is held onto as if I am very dehydrated (usually drinking around 2 litres of fluid per day on top of plenty of fruit and vegetables). This was very demotivating, as I was good with food and exercise and really there was nothing I could do to avoid the gain. 

The following week I had a mid week takeaway, another thing that encourages my body to retain fluids in a desperate attempt to clear itself of the increased sodium. Unsurprisingly there was another fine. The next week I lost but then I was on holiday in Croatia for a week. It’s safe to say I wasn’t sticking to reduced calories while away, and when I got back I was half a pound heavier than I had been the week I started! Another loss next, then it was the time of the month again, and yet another fine. 

In the run up to the end of the competition I signed up for 80/20 plants, which motivated me to really stick to my healthy eating, but i hadn’t ventured back to the gym, for fear it would make my weight loss stall again. I lost a pound one week, then another pound the next, finishing the competition at just over 2 pounds lighter than I started. The total I paid in was £33, I finished last having lost 0.94% of my original weight. Other people paid bigger fines, but overall lost more weight. 

I have really struggled getting much below 190 for so long now, I truly think this is the set point of my body, and to lose this last 50 pounds is going to take extreme dedication. I thought the weight loss competition would give me the motivation, but a few weeks in I realised it was affecting me in the same way that Slimming World did all those years ago. My body just does not lose weight in a linear fashion. Okay, I had a holiday in the mix, but a combination of exercising/weights, periods, and not eating perfectly leads my body to produce big weight fluctuations.

On a day to day basis I am not aware of these (other than feeling bloated), but weighing in, competing against colleagues once a week showed me this. And instead of taking it for what it was, fluctuations, it would generally leave me feeling disappointed, angry at myself. No surprise what I sometimes do when feeling like this? Eat more. So for me (and I suspect most people), weight loss competitions just don’t work, especially long term. This is not a race to the finish line, it is your whole life and health, and next time the competition starts, as much as I would like to completely destroy my colleagues, I won’t be joining in. I suspect this is why slimming companies continue to exist, and the number of classes just seems to continually rise. Weight loss is incredibly difficult to sustain over the long term, short term loss and fluctuations don’t teach the message of true lifestyle and habit change, don’t rid people of the negative ideas they have around food. This competition reminded me even after 6 stone, these thoughts can still be within me to pop out when required. 

Since starting the new eating plan with 80/20 plants, I have been eating around 80% whole plants, and this week I have made it back to the gym five mornings out of five. I’ve not weighed myself this week, it is nearly my time of the month which means I’m bloated, plus it’s my birthday in a couple of days and to be honest I’m in for the long haul, not the minor changes. I just need to remember that. I am envious of those who lose weight consistently until they reach their goal, but I just don’t work like that, does anyone really? If the statistics of over 90% of people regaining any weight they lose are correct I begin to think this is actually a myth, and longing for something that just can never be is a pointless endeavour. 

To join and support me (and also to get some support back too!) please add me on My Fitness Pal , and other social media, InstagramFacebookTwitterFitbit. I’m not so active on Instagram/Facebook/Twitter at the moment but I am still consistently using My Fitness Pal and my Fitbit so these are probably the best places for us to connect.

 

8020plants

8020 Plants – No Meat Athlete

Well, I’m still stuck in plateau hell, I’ve been the same weight within a few pounds now for around a year, but I still have 50 pounds to lose. This is incredibly frustrating, having lost so much weight (80+ pounds), I feel I am almost being done out of celebrating the success I have had so far by still being so overweight.

I struggle with consistent exercise, fitting it in around work takes a lot of dedication and time, but even without much exercise I always strive to eat as close to a whole foods plant based diet as possible. However there are times when this slips, one too many takeaways are eaten, or one too many vegan doughnuts (damn you Morrison’s and your cheap, delicious, fresh doughnuts!). I have always felt that improving my diet to low calorie density plant foods, therefore giving me the ability to eat more and feel full is the way forward for not only my weight loss endeavours, but health and life in general.

I had been considering buying a meal plan to mix things up, when along came 80/20 plants, found at www.8020plants.com , a new meal plan and support service which offers videos, a community and a coach you can message alongside recipes. It was started by the guys from No Meat Athlete, one of my favourite podcasts I have listened to almost since day one of being vegan (along with some other people but I believe they are heavily involved with it).  Being a subscriber to their site and podcast offered a large discount so I thought I would give it a try.

I’m two weeks in currently, and they break up the roll out of plant foods in stages, focussing on different meals each week allowing for you to move change one meal at a time over to more plants.

Now they aren’t as strict regarding oils and processed food but heavily push the plants, hence the name 80% plants, 20% plant based processed (no animal products..ever). This works for me, as when I am struggling and I am probably closer to 50/50, and my weight creeps up at these times, generally I feel tired, just not quite as good.

The first week was breakfasts, and since I started I have had an 80/20 breakfast every day, this is something a little different for me. I have been intermittent fasting on and off for years now, but as I have completely stalled I have tried to mix it up. I still think intermittent fasting is great for you, and if/when I ever reach my target weight it is something I would consider permanently, but at the moment it just isn’t having the same impact it used to, and I do wonder if it encourages me to almost binge once my eating window starts. I have had some issues with binging, not in a eating disorder way but occasionally being unable to stop myself (especially with large takeaways), eating to the point of feeling sick.

For breakfast during the week I have had overnight oats, this is a good option for me as it means I can make it the night before, take it into work and eat straight from the tub with no preparation. Ingredients have been rolled oats, ground flax seeds, chia seeds, whole frozen pitted cherries and blueberries, a little vegan yoghurt, sweet cinnamon, unsweetened soy milk and then some frozen breakfast topper fruits which has strawberries, pineapple and some other bits and pieces. At the weekends I have been having tofu scramble with lots of veggies, homemade hash browns and some beans.

This is pretty similar with what I have eaten for a while, other than that I would usually eat it around 1 in the afternoon for opening my window, although at the weekends I would have a lot more processed foods in there such as vegan sausage, potato scones, oven hash browns, toast (again, to the point of feeling a little sick after eating so much). Breakfast at the weekend tends to be more brunch, around 11 am, during the week it is around 9 am. So far, so good, I wanted to see if eating earlier encouraged me to binge afterwards, and for the first few days I felt the familiar urge to start piling in the foods, but I am now easily making it to lunch time without anything else.

Week two was snacks, and I have made a few of these, but also tried to change what I snack on while cooking. I have made oat cups from a recipe on this blog www.shelikesfood.com . Instead of having them for breakfast they have been my pudding, and to be honest over the week I have began to really enjoy them. Initially they felt as if they weren’t indulgent enough, and previously I would have something small but very sugary (such as a mince pie/apple pie/aforementioned doughnuts). I’ve almost made some date/cashew balls rolled in desiccated coconut and these are so sweet! Sweeter than my previous snacks, but it’s natural sweetness from the dates so I’m fine with that! I’m also having two to three pieces of fruit per day.

Although I haven’t started lunch and dinner yet, eating this way has definitely encouraged me to eat in a more whole foods plant based way. I have tried some new recipes which may or may not make it to the blog, and I’ve lost a pound or two since starting, but I’m trying to keep my eye on the long game, and not focus on the minutiae of the week to week. Next week, on top of formally tackling lunches, I’m going to head back to the gym and see how that helps both weight loss and hunger levels. I can definitely say so far that 8020 plants is motivating me to eat in a way that is more aligned with my goals, and I’m excited to see how the next couple of weeks go!

I’ve been a little quiet on instagram recently as I have another project on the go which is taking up a large chunk of my social media time, but this week am going to at least post my interesting meals (possibly not the same overnight oats every day though!).

To join and support me (and also to get some support back too!) please add me on My Fitness Pal , and other social media, InstagramFacebookTwitterFitbit.

Consistency

Extended Absence

I fear I am just destined to be an intermittent blogger, no matter my inner promises to blog somehow life gets in the way, when time and mental space are at a premium my poor blog suffers! I’m still active on Instagram and My Fitness Pal during these times, it just becomes increasingly difficult to fit in time to write full posts. Anyway, enough of me beating myself up for my absence and onto the reasons/excuses.

The main source of lack of time is that I started a new job 7 weeks ago, it’s the type of job that for a long time I thought I would never do. For the last couple of years I have worked in a software development role, but I would use that term a little loosely. There was day to day development but it heavily leaned on an existing framework, which was great, it offered a level of support in such a small team, but I was aware that ideally I wanted to get into a more hands on, technical development role. A recruiter contacted me for a role at a large international company, I  interviewed (even with a technical test), and I was over the moon when I was offered it, but at the same time terrified. I have impostor syndrome, although not as bad as it once was. While at uni I remember thinking “Well, there is no way I’m going to be able to do this as a job“, that I had wasted my time (I got a first class honours degree and postgraduate diploma with distinction..didn’t exactly scrape passing!), that I would never be good enough to work in this field.

Starting this job was a massive step, it was a little overwhelming to begin with, they have huge projects, not in my first programming language and a fairly large international team. But I have tried to take on lessons I have learned in years of meditation and mindfulness, don’t think too much about the big picture, notice when I am stuck ruminating on my fear and distract myself, and just get on with it.

It’s difficult at this stage to tangibly say how I’m doing, but I’m enjoying it, feel I am understanding things and writing code in a way I haven’t since University. The atmosphere is very positive, I’ve made some nice friends, it’s a world away from my previous job which I enjoyed but had some serious flaws. My commuting time has cut by 40 minutes each way as well, so I have more time back to myself, and it’s more money with routes upwards, better benefits. Overall it has been highly positive, and I’m looking forward to keep pushing forward.

My gym and diet however, especially in the last few weeks of my old job and first month of this have not been great or very consistent. I haven’t flown completely off track, but my weight has crept up a little, I’m currently 13 stone, 3.5, or 185.5 pounds. This is 6 pounds up from my lightest weight 2 months ago.

My weight is fluctuating wildly at the moment, initially I thought there was something going on physically (unsure what though) but now I think it is a combination of dropping off going to the gym, and general inconsistency with food. I am very susceptible to bloat after eating salty/oily food, it hangs around for days, and there has definitely been more of this on the menu in the last few months.

To get back in the routine I have been meal planning, and batch cooking at the weekend. For the last two weeks I have picked up exercising again, running and weights at the gym. I’ve changed the plan I’m following and will do a post about this next week. The IT department (including software development) have a weight loss competition I have joined to keep me motivated. They also have a little gym which I’m going to try out at lunch time with one the girls who goes fairly regularly. Overall, everything is moving in the right direction now, but things have definitely been a little bumpy!

Thank you anyone still around and I’m sorry for not being about! I suppose that is real life and weight loss, sometimes your focus has to shift, but it’s important to not throw it all away. A few pounds I can handle, it’s about recognising when things are going south and putting the brakes on before you end up back at square one.

We’re going on holiday to Dubrovnik in 3 weeks and I’m looking forward to trying some of the vegan options out there, so there will be some upcoming posts about that too. I’m also going to do some posts on my meal prepping/batch cooking healthy meals to save time during the week.

To join and support me (and also to get some support back too!) please add me on My Fitness Pal , and other social media, InstagramFacebookTwitterFitbit.

Consistency

2019 Week 6 Update

This week I’ve lost 1 pound, this year that is now 11 pounds.

My total weight loss is now 82.5 pounds, with 47.5 to go to reach my 10 stone goal weight.

No OMAD this week, every day I have fasted for between 16 to 18 hours. I’ve eaten between 1200 and 1500 calories a day. Still taking a B12 supplement, Biotin supplement and a vitamin D supplement, I bought a new vegan friendly mushroom based supplement from Holland and Barrett at the weekend so will give this a try.

Exercise this week –

  • Sunday – Lower body strength workout
  • Monday – AM and PM – 2.5 km rum, 2.5 km hill walk, swimming my with my daughter then 1 hour of swimming in the evening
  • Tuesday – PM – 1 hour of cardio at the gym
  • Wednesday – PM – Upper body strength workout
  • Thursday – AM – 15 minute HIIT, PM – Rest
  • Friday – PM – 1 hour cardio at the gym
  • Saturday – AM – 5km Run

My plans for next week are –

  • Sunday – AM – 1 hour 15 minutes Lower Body/Core Strength Training
  • Monday – AM – 15 minute HIIT, PM – Chest and Triceps/Core Strength Training
  • Tuesday – AM – 15 minute HIIT, Rest
  • Wednesday – AM – 15 minute HIIT, PM – Back and Biceps/Core Strength Training
  • Thursday –  AM – 15 minute HIIT, PM – Swimming
  • Friday – AM – 15 minute HIIT, 1 hour Gym Cardio
  • Saturday – AM – 5km Run

To join and support me (and also to get some support back too!) please add me on My Fitness Pal , and other social media, InstagramFacebookTwitterFitbit.

Consistency

2019 Week 5 Update

This week I’ve lost 3 pounds, this year that is now 10 pounds.

My total weight loss is now 81.5 pounds, with 48.5 to go to reach my 10 stone goal weight. I’m officially the lightest I have been in around 10 years..madness.

No OMAD this week, I’m struggling to fit it in if I’m being honest. Every day I have fasted for between 16 to 18 hours. I’ve eaten between 1200 and 1500 calories a day. Still taking a B12 supplement, Biotin supplement and a vitamin D supplement although I’m on the lookout for a new one as I’m not keen on the D Spray I have.

Exercise this week –

  • Sunday – Lower body strength workout
  • Monday – AM – 15 minute HIIT, PM – 1 hour of swimming
  • Tuesday – AM – Upper body strength workout
  • Wednesday – Rest Day
  • Thursday – AM – 15 minute HIIT, PM 1 hour of swimming
  • Friday – PM – 1 hour and 10 minutes cardio at the gym
  • Saturday – AM – 1 hour and 10 minutes cardio at the gym

My plans for next week are –

  • Sunday – AM – 1 hour lower body Strength Training
  • Monday – AM – 15 minute HIIT, PM – Swimming
  • Tuesday – AM – 15 minute HIIT, PM – 1 hour of gym cardio
  • Wednesday – AM – 15 minute HIIT, PM – Upper body strength training
  • Thursday –  AM – 15 minute HIIT, PM – Swimming
  • Friday – AM – 15 minute HIIT, possible rest day although the gym was so quiet this week I’m tempted to go back and do something on the Friday as well
  • Saturday – AM – Long Run/Cardio

Weights are still improving slowly, although I’m planning on doing a post about this soon. This week my husband has been tagging along to exercise with me which has been a good motivation. He really complimented me by saying that although the gym is full of super fit people I work out as hard as the rest of them…I do try!

To join and support me (and also to get some support back too!) please add me on My Fitness Pal , and other social media, InstagramFacebookTwitterFitbit.

2019 Week 4 Update

Last week I’ve stayed the same, this year that is still 7 pounds

My total weight loss is now 78.5 pounds, with 51.5 to go to reach my 10 stone goal weight.

No OMAD this week due to when my exercise has been scheduled. Most days I have fasted for 16 to 18 hours. I’ve eaten between 1200 and 1500 calories a day. I’ve added in a B12 tablet vitamin supplement and a biotin supplement daily, and I’m taking my B12 spray and D spray.

Exercise this week –

  • Sunday – Lower body strength workout
  • Monday – AM – 15 minute HIIT, PM – 1 hour of swimming
  • Tuesday – AM – Upper body strength workout
  • Wednesday – PM – 1 hour and 10 minutes cardio at the gym
  • Thursday – AM – 15 minute HIIT, PM 1 hour of swimming
  • Friday – Rest Day
  • Saturday – Hungover but did go for a walk

My plans for next week are –

  • Sunday – AM – 1 hour lower body Strength Training
  • Monday – AM – 15 minute HIIT, PM – Swimming
  • Tuesday – AM – 15 minute HIIT, PM – 1 hour of gym cardio
  • Wednesday – AM – 15 minute HIIT, PM – Upper body strength training
  • Thursday –  AM – 15 minute HIIT, PM – Swimming
  • Friday – AM – 15 minute HIIT
  • Saturday – AM – 1 hour of gym cardio

This week has been good with food. I’ve found myself focusing on it a lot less, generally not sitting thinking about it. I’m wondering if this is a side affect of eating the same thing every day? Exercise has felt good this week. I feel my cardiovascular fitness is improving, my swimming form for front crawl is getting better and I’m definitely feeling more comfortable in the weights room at the gym. No falling off the wagon which marks a full month on it. Bit annoyed I haven’t lost weight but unfortunately as I know too well weight loss isn’t linear!

To join and support me (and also to get some support back too!) please add me on My Fitness Pal , and other social media, InstagramFacebookTwitterFitbit.

Consistency

2019 Week 3 Update

If you’re on the ball, you will notice there was no week 2 update….no, I’ve not given up already, but I was away at a friends last weekend and didn’t even weigh in. It was also my time of the month which pretty much guarantees a stay the same for me.

This week I’ve lost 3 pounds, this year that is now 7 pounds.

My total weight loss is now 78.5 pounds, with 51.5 to go to reach my 10 stone goal weight.

I’ve eaten between 1300 and 1500 calories every day apart from Saturday and Sunday (when I was away at my friends), and Thursday where I did one day of OMAD and ended on just under 1000 calories. I’ve added in a B12 tablet vitamin supplement and a biotin supplement daily, and I’m taking my B12 spray and D spray.

Exercise this week –

  • Sunday – Nothing (3.5 hour drive though!)
  • Monday – Nothing (was totally disorganised after being away so needed some time to meal prep/catch up at home)
  • Tuesday – AM – 15 minute HIIT, PM – 5k run on treadmill, 20 minutes on elliptical
  • Wednesday – AM – 15 minute HIIT, PM – 1 hour upper body strength training
  • Thursday – AM – 15 minute HIIT, PM – Rest
  • Friday – AM – 15 minute HIIT, PM – 55 minutes swimming
  • Saturday – AM – 5km run on treadmill

My plans for next week are –

  • Sunday – AM – 1 hour lower body Strength Training
  • Monday – AM – 15 minute HIIT, PM – Swimming
  • Tuesday – AM – 15 minute HIIT, PM – Upper body strength training
  • Wednesday – AM – 15 minute HIIT, PM – Rest
  • Thursday –  AM – 15 minute HIIT, PM – 5k run, 20 minutes on elliptical
  • Friday – AM – 15 minute HIIT, PM – Swimming
  • Saturday – AM – Lower body strength training

I’m really happy with how this week has went, especially with my food. Considering I was away at the weekend when I do a lot of my preparation it would have been really easy to default to convenience and takeaways but I managed to keep on track and still fit in the exercise. I know I won’t lose 3 pounds every week, but I’ll take it while I can!

To join and support me (and also to get some support back too!) please add me on My Fitness Pal , and other social media, InstagramFacebookTwitterFitbit.

Consistency

Monthly Measurements – January 2019

Along with some other regular posts I’m going to be making, I’m throwing a monthly measurements post in here too. Alongside actually losing weight, it’s important to track the impact this has on my measurements. I have been intermittently tracking my measurements since way back in 2015 and I’m 42.5 inches down from various parts of my body.

For the first post I will include my original measurements and also the measurements I have taken as of this morning. I’ll update these once a month and eventually add some pictures.

5th August 2015

Area Measurement
Hips 54.5 inches
Waist 48 inches
Bust 51 inches
Under Bust 46 inches
Upper Thigh 27.5 inches
Calf 19 inches
Bicep 16 inches

13th January 2019

Area Measurement Lost
Hips 46.5 inches 11 inches
Waist 37 inches 8 inches
Bust 44.5 inches 6.5 inches
Under Bust 39.5 inches 6.5 inches
Upper Thigh 23 inches 4.5 inches
Calf 16.5 inches 2.5 inches
Bicep 13.5 inches 3.5 inches

Overall that is 42.5 inches lost, it’s great if not a little slow. I’m hoping to see more results a little faster this year. Please remember to add me on My Fitness Pal , and other social media, InstagramFacebookTwitterFitbit.

Consistency

2019 Week 1 Update

Just a quick update about my first full week after refocusing on weight loss. This week I’m down 2.5 pounds, combined with the days last week that is 4 pounds in 2019.

My total weight loss is now 75.5 pounds, with 54.5 to go to reach 10 stone.

I’ve eaten between 1400 and 1700 calories a day, around 70% carbs, 15% fat, 15% protein. Sometimes carbs have dropped into the 60s but I’m not keeping too close an eye on that.

Exercise this week –

  • Sunday – 1.5 hours cardio
  • Monday – Swimming
  • Tuesday – Lower body strength training
  • Wednesday – 5k run
  • Thursday – Rest
  • Friday – Swimming
  • Saturday – 1.5 hours cardio

A very productive week and I’m feeling great! This weekend I’ll take up to date measurements and pictures to share.

My plans for next week are –

  • Sunday – Upper body strength training
  • Monday – Swimming
  • Tuesday – Run or cardio at gym
  • Wednesday – Lower body strength training
  • Thursday – Swimming
  • Friday – Run or cardio at the gym
  • Saturday – Rest

I’m off to visit my best friend in England next weekend so won’t be overly strict next weekend. Here’s to another good week!

To join and support me (and also to get some support back too!) please add me on My Fitness Pal , and other social media, InstagramFacebookTwitterFitbit.

Consistency

Word of 2019 and looking back on 2018

Goodbye to 2018,  and Hello to a New Year. I know that really the new year has no proper significance, it is just the day we humans picked to reset our calendar, but there is no doubting for many that it provides an impetus unfelt at other times of the year.

Looking back on my 2018 my results are mixed. Overall it was a successful year, but not necessarily in some of the ways I wanted it to be. We went on our first family holiday abroad (Majorca), also went on our first couples holiday abroad (Amsterdam). We also bought our first house, which really took up a large number of months, and caused a lot of stress.

In the process of getting ready for the move I hit my target of getting rid of 2018 things in 2018, which was really needed. I think without the decluttering that has taken place in the last few years, our move would have been incredibly difficult.  We moved to a house that had more rooms (and very importantly a garden), but has less storage and floor space. In the end it was pretty easy, so much so I have signed up for 2019 in 2019, although I do think this year will be a lot harder. I’m not even sure where I’m going to start for next year, but I’m sure there is more to go, at least 2019 things.

The elephant in the room that I didn’t reach my weight goal in 2018. Not even anywhere close. I started the year at 218 pounds, reached a low of 189 pounds, but ended the year at 199, 10 pounds up from my lowest weight. So overall, over the year I lost 19 pounds. Not great, but I really need to look at the positives here. Another year has passed and I have finished it lighter than I began. The reasons why I didn’t reach the weight? Well, ironically considering my word of 2018 was Focus, I definitely lost it at times. Not to the point of completely throwing my weight loss away, but enough to make any decent headway. It is really frustrating when everyone around you seems to be easily losing weight, 3, 4 pounds a week. I remind myself I’ve lost over 5 stone so far, but it is a hard pill to swallow.

However, I put on a few pounds, lost a few, and overall I reckon I’m at least capable of maintaining. It is really now about getting my head down to get the last few stone off, and I know it is not going to be an easy task.

Time, tiredness, a busy life, they all get in the way, so my word of 2019 reflects what I need to get my weight over the finish line….Consistency. I’m going to avoid the ups and downs, the periods of non exercise and takeaways, and I’m going to give it my all to be consistent with my eating and exercise during 2019.

My plans are to focus on the day to day, rather than the actual physical weight measurement. If I can consistently eat well, exercise and get enough sleep, my body can do this. If I obsess over the minutiae, the half a pound here, or half a pound there I will get demotivated, start eating more, exercising less and maintain. I have been at this long enough to know the thought patterns, the excuses that arise in times of frustration.

My goal, 10 stone. Do I think I can do it this year? Yes..I really believe I can. I have rejoined the gym, have a new exercise and eating plan in place which involves healthy meal prepping and a little less fasting (but this will still feature I’m sure).

I am adding in another couple of health checks over the year, so keep an eye out for posts related to that too. It’s not just about weight, there is more to health than what the scales say, and I’m keen to see how healthy I really am.

To start the year I thought I would also share a recent selfie taken on a night out, and I must say I felt pretty damn good when that was taken, even at the weight I am.

Consistency

To join and support me (and also to get some support back too!) please add me on My Fitness Pal , and other social media, InstagramFacebookTwitterFitbit.

Frustration and the end of 2018

This year has went by so quickly, almost in the blink of an eye.

I am putting a lot of the feeling of that down to a few significant life related events, the biggest of which was buying our first house, then the move, which was a fairly drawn out process!

Moving house is not an easy process for anyone, but after 8 years at our rented flat, and having inherited most of my parent’s posessions after their deaths, the run up to the move was intense. I thoroughly decluttered, more than I ever had before. This was a combination of selling, giving and throwing away. Although we were moving from a 2 bedroom flat into a 3 bedroom house, our 2 bedroom flat was massive, floor space and storage were readily available. Our new house lacked in both, not that I was phased by this, I’ve always liked the idea of having a bit less space, I find you generally expand your posessions to fill the space you have, smaller space = less stuff.

We got our keys at the end of September, and gradually began moving non essential items. The main move was on the 15th October, I swear it was the wettest day of the year. Thankfully it went smoothly, but due to the sudden nature of our house purchase, and generally being short on cash, it was done on a budget. Our movers moved all of our big furniture, but we did all of the small things. This trickled on for another month, I only moved our goldfish and shrimp at the start of November, it was a military operation.

But now, mid December, we are in, mostly settled. The new house requires some work but we’re waiting until the new year to even think about this.

Weight wise I have made it through this period maintaining, which is a positive considering how much takeaway food I have eaten. I have continued fasting, mostly whole foods plant based, but not as rigid as I would have liked, and certainly not good enough to lose weight. Exercise has been minimal, I did go do a 5K  and to the gym last week and I think next year I will be ready to start adding that back in again.

I’m looking forward to the start of 2019. I thought this would be my year to reach my target weight, but alas it was not to be. Maybe 2019 will be that year? On the other hand I am glad to have made it through another year lighter than I was at the start of the previous one, plus my general health and energy levels have been fantastic, and this is not something I can easily discount.

Please add me on My Fitness Pal , and other social media, InstagramFacebookTwitterFitbit. I love new people and the support from online sources is invaluable.

1000 Days on My Fitness Pal

Unbelievably, I have reached a 1000 day streak on My Fitness Pal. I don’t think I’ve ever logged into something for such a long streak of days ever. My streak began on Monday 28th November 2015 an wow, so much has changed since then!

I had not been vegan very long then, I went vegan on the 4th November 2015. I was still a student having not long started my Postgraduate Diploma, I had lost about a stone at that point, having stopped smoking a few months before at the end of May.

In that time I have –

  • Graduated
  • Got my first job (left)
  • Got my second job (still there)
  • Lost another 4.5 stone
  • Went abroad on holiday for the first time since I was a child
  • Ran a 10K

And just for nostalgia, here is the post I made at my 200 day streak.

My Fitness Pal

It’s been full of ups and downs, I have had a lot of time stuck in that period, but I have chipped away and am reaching my goals, I don’t care if it takes me 1000 more days, as long as I am going down the way I’ll be happy (it would be good to finally reach my end goal though one day!). I also lost 1 pound on my 1000 day streak, which marks my first downward movement since June!

Some of the things I have done with My Fitness Pal over the years? There have been plenty of days where I’ve logged in and only added water, just to make sure it registers. Also, remembering right as I’m about to go to sleep, and having to quickly login again just to check. I hope other users also do these things.

While I have had periods of no diary logging, I always go back there, and I honestly think it is one of the best apps/websites I use. I recommend it to anyone I speak to about weight loss, calorie counting I feel is the most reliable way to lose weight, and I don’t think anyone else does it better than My Fitness Pal. The community is good too, I regularly browse the forums for inspiration. I have made friends there too from all over the world, and I love looking at other people’s diaries. Overall it is a great too, and free as well. I have tried the paid for version but quite honestly the free version has so much information, it’s more than enough for me.

Here’s to the next 1000 days! Please add me on My Fitness Pal , and other social media, InstagramFacebookTwitterFitbit. I love new people and the support from online sources is invaluable.

weightloss failure

My ongoing weightloss failure (and what I’m going to do about it)

I really don’t like to make a post which such a negative title, but I’m stuck in a rut when it comes to weightloss failure and I really need to do something about it. I feel this rut is inevitable, and I guess potentially the reason most people are unsucessful losing weight in the long term. You stop losing weight for a variety of reasons such as :

  • Your body has adjusted to lower calories but you haven’t made any changes
  • You start eating more and not realising it
  • You stop exercising but continue eating more
  • You get bored
  • You have a personal crisis/stress period and start eating more

When the weight loss stops, you may not have fixed your underlying problems with food, you get annoyed, fed up, eat a little more, the cycle continues, before you know it you are gaining again but ignoring it. You stop weighing, feel your clothes getting tighter, eat more until eventually you reach a point when you just say enough, bite the bullet and weigh yourself and either you have gained, or you may even be the same weight you were to start with (or more!). I’ve been there. This has happened to me twice, I have lost 3 stone twice and put it all back on. Losing weight is very difficult over the long term.

Losing weight is what I am currently failing at, I am stuck, I have been stuck now for a number of months. The 16th June was the last time I registered a loss. Very very frustrating. Since that period I had a week long holiday in Spain where I overate and drank, I put on around 6 pounds and lost it within a week. I have bobbed about the same 2 – 3 pounds since then depending on water retention.

Why? Why am I stuck? Well, I could make a lot of excuses, the one I hear myself saying all the time (and I mean all the time) is that my body has had enough of weight loss. 5 and a half stone is as much as it wants to do. I say this as if my body has it’s own brain and has made some kind of conscious decision. People tilt their head and nod understandingly, saying something like, oh you’ve lost so much already, surely you don’t have that much left to go anyway. I still have nearly 4 stone to go! I don’t feel anywhere near done yet.

My real reason for being stuck probably is a number of reasons:

  1. I stopped OMAD (I found it too extreme), but I’m still doing 18-20 hour fasts every weekday, and 14-18 hour fasts at the weekend. I think fasting has helped me not gain.
  2. I upped my calories a little as I felt I was struggling (1200ish to 1500ish). I did this because I just felt as if I should be able to eat more, I compared myself to others and felt I was too restrictive.
  3. I have stopped exercising as much. In my personal life there is an ongoing issue (regarding housing), and it is taking up my thoughts, and some time. This is time I was previously exercising.

When it actually comes down to it though, the real reason I’m failing can only be that I am eating too much! I know, it’s not just as straightforward as calories in vs calories out. Hormones, Microbiome, Sleep/Stress etc all play a part. But people in parts of the world starving don’t generally have a two month plateau. I’m not suggesting a starvation diet is required, but I need to stop making excuses to myself. Excuses are not going to get me to my goal, they help literally no one.

My goal regarding my weight is healthy, rather than too slim. My body will be ruined in a way. After over 9 stone (hopefully) of weight loss I am under no illusions my skin is going to go back into place. But how I look isn’t why I’m doing this. I’m doing this to not be obese.

Why do I want so much to not be obese? Well, we’re all going to die, I watched my parents die, I know there is no stopping it, but I don’t want to live a lifestyle that hurries it along. One of the biggest causes of death is obesity, or more specifically the increased risk of other health problems that obesity brings, cancer, heart disease and many others.

So, what am I going to do about my goals..? I’m going to think back to the 1st January this year when I posted my word for the year..the word was Focus.

I’m going to remember how much that word means this year and I am going to fully refocus on what I have power over. The main thing I have power over is how much I am eating. I’m putting my calories back down slightly, back to 1250. If I exercise I will allow myself to eat less than half back, I’m sceptical how much I really burn.

For food I will keep doing what I’m doing with whole foods and fasting, however I will cut back to my new calorie goal.

Every day I will have:

  • A salad with grains, legumes, greens, potatoes and other vegetables.
  • A fruit smoothie/nice cream.
  • A main meal.

Everything will be weighed and measured, and added to my fitness pal, every single mouthful.

I’m going to start properly weighing in every week on instagram/this site. I’m not sure on the best day to weigh in, I would like to avoid weight fluctuations so think mid-week is probably best, at the moment I will go with Thursday. I may move this to around the weekend as they do tend to be a bit of a problem.

I did consider rejoining a slimming club but I still fundamentally believe they are unecessary. What I need is accountability without prescribed actions, and without the cost! So my accountability will come from you guys on the internet. You are going to help cheer me over the finish line.

 

Exercise will be gradually re-added in. I am struggling with the personal housing issues (trying to buy a house and it’s not going well!) but this should be sorted one way or another in the next couple of weeks, and I can’t keep making excuses about not being able to fit it in. Even 15 – 20 minutes in the morning is better than nothing. The exercises I will be doing will be a mix of strength training (I will make a post about this soon), running and swimming.

I’m thinking about starting a Youtube channel, or using instagram stories more but I’m worried my Scottish accent is too Scottish! I definitely need to make myself more accountable and I’m open to suggestions. I’m over the half way point and I really need a push to make it over the goal line. To lose this final weight this year will be tough, and I may not do that, but I’m going to give it my all.

Please follw me on InstagramFacebookTwitterMy Fitness Pal and Fitbit. I love new people and the support from online sources is invaluable.

Absence

I’m sorry for my extended absence, yet again consistency is something I struggle with, during weight loss and making blog posts!

I’ve not completely fallen off the wagon, my weight is exactly what it was a couple of months ago, no more no less. That however is the problem! Losing weight should not be so damn difficult. I say to myself (and others!) it’s my body, I’m 5.5 stone down and it just doesn’t want to lose anymore, but inside I think surely that cannot be right? If someone is starving their body still loses weight, it doesn’t reach 5.5 stone down and then they forever stick at that weight do they?

I know it’s not as straightforward as calories in vs calories out, but really it’s not far off, hormones have a role to play but not so much that weight loss just doesn’t happen. I don’t think it is purely down to exercise either but it’s safe to say my consistency with that hasn’t been great either.

In my defence (and I seem to say that a lot…making excuses for myself), I went on a weeks holiday (where I barely gained any weight, and lost it the next week), and I’ve been going through a stressful time for the last month with a personal issue. But these are ultimately just excuses and they mean nothing. If I can’t be accountable to myself on my own weight loss blog then where can I? I must be eating too much, and not exercising enough, and that is just it.

This week I’m going to religiously use My Fitness Pal, aim for wholefoods (which I’ve been pretty good with tbh), and get in some exercise.  I’m still fasting, 16 – 18 hours a day and I’m going to keep this up, but not aim for the 20+ hours I was, I shouldn’t need to go to those extents to lose weight. I do sometimes think about stopping calorie counting and sticking to all whole foods, but then I remind myself that sometimes I really lack self control and think calorie counting is for the best. Wish me luck!

Thanks for reading and you can find me on InstagramFacebookTwitterMy Fitness Pal and Fitbit. Add me on any or all, I love new friends on all social media for support and updates from me!

PMDD

Sorry for the wild tangent with this post, it is not related to veganism, however I do think it is slightly tied to weight loss. If you’re not a fan of anything to do with “The time of the month”, this probably isn’t the post for you, although I will refrain from going into detail!

PMS, Pre Menstrual Syndrome. I have heard and read many things about this, ranging from it affects up to 75% of women, to the idea that it doesn’t even exist but is used as a way to keep women down.

It’s the cliche isn’t it, it’s approaching the time of the month, the woman starts getting angry, crying for no reason, can’t stop eating chocolate/junk food in general. Bloating and pain can be part of this, along with nausea and an upset stomach, it’s not really a great time, and we get to experience this every month for a large portion of our lives.

When I was younger, and until I lost quite a bit of weight, I suffered from irregular periods. Years on and off the pill, two children, and yoyo weight (right up to 19 stone), meant that I could go months without a period, once even as long as 12 months. Around the time I got my first period I also started developing depression symptoms. I had period of very low lows, feelings of complete and utter lack of self worth. This led to a couple of bouts of anti depressants, and I would seem to get better for a while but then it would rear it’s ugly head again.

I never for a moment thought this was linked to my cycle initially, until my husband mentioned that around once a month I have a breakdown. Even when we first discussed this I didn’t think it could be related as I was still going through irregular periods. But fairly regularly, around once every month or two, life would just get too much. I would have constant build up in my head of negative feelings and thoughts related to pretty much anything and anyone I had any contact with. Normal life would make me angry, bitter, and it was mostly aimed at my husband.

I would feel resentful to the point of meltdown, snide comments would slip out while inside I was hating myself and trying to stop it. Eventually he would react (I wanted him to I think on some level) and there would be an allmighty blowout. This would usually end with me crying, him asking and struggling to understand what the hell was going on. A day or two later everything would be back to normal. Until the build up started again.

This cycle has happened many many times, him joking I just need to explode occasionally. Sometimes this would lead to ongoing depression, but even when depressed much of the time I would feel normal, then extreme depression would hit, and take over my life. I began to think I had bipolar, the normalness, happiness of most of the time, and the ridiculously low (and angry) bad times. I went through years of counselling on and off after losing my parents and recognised I had a very negative inner voice which initially was running out of control, and I wasn’t even aware of it.

Talking therapy and CBT taught me to recognise this, meditation has helped even further, and there is no doubt I am no longer depressed. But still, once a month I would have some kind of emotional blow out. But now, after losing weight I have a regular period, and I could see the correlation between my moods, and my periods.

I have been using the free clue app to track my periods for around a year, and can log mood changes here too, it was undeniable. Around a week before my period it begins, it raises to a crescendo where I feel almost out of control, then the day I get my period it releases. I then have around 3 weeks of normality before I’m off into lala land again.

With this knowledge I began googling “extreme mood swings with period”, “extreme PMS ” and other search terms like this, and I found information about a syndrome known as PMDD, Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder. This is a recognised condition which is believed to affect 3 – 8% of all menstruating women. How could I never have heard of this before?

According to mind.org.uk the symptoms of PMDD are:

“Emotional experiences:

  • mood swings
  • feeling upset or tearful
  • feeling angry or irritable
  • feelings of anxiety
  • feeling hopeless
  • feelings of tension or being on edge
  • difficulty concentrating
  • feeling overwhelmed
  • lack of energy
  • less interest in activities you normally enjoy
  • suicidal feelings.

Physical and behavioural experiences:

  • breast tenderness or swelling
  • pain in your muscles and joints
  • headaches
  • feeling bloated
  • changes in your appetite such as overeating or having specific food cravings
  • sleep problems
  • finding it hard to avoid or resolve conflicts with people around you
  • becoming very upset if you feel that others are rejecting you.

 

You will typically only experience these symptoms for a week or two before your period starts. The symptoms follow your menstrual cycle, so you might find they start to get better when you get your period and will usually have disappeared by the time your period is finished. “

It looks like PMS, but the extreme versions. I can recognise I have many of these symptoms, physical and emotional. My mood swings are on another level, irritability even at minute things is huge. I have considered (not seriously) suicide, many times at this period, thinking that the best thing for all of my family would be for me to not be there. This coming from someone who is mostly happy for the rest of the time, quite an extreme jump to take. I can’t avoid conflict, in fact I am so angry I am looking for it. The conflict is irrational and completely unresolvable. I have achy boobs, bloating is so bad I don’t even weigh myself for that week (and when I have I am up 5 – 7 pounds for around 5 – 7 days). The symptoms disappear as soon as I start my period.

The whole thing is debilitating, but when I know about something I instantly feel that makes me more capable of dealing with it. I’ve not sought a diagnosis, I’m unsure how you even go about that, but looking at the list of symptoms, and with years of historical data, I feel confident in saying I suffer from this.

Last period was the first one since discovering PMDD. In the run up I joined some facebook groups for support and they have been a good resource, although many people post about really out there symptoms, in general I have found them worthwhile. Last period I prepared myself mentally, to know what to expect. With meditation I have tried to be more mindful, so I tried to be aware of my feelings, to recognise when my frustration and anger was taking over, to take a few deep breaths and ask myself whether this was something I really felt, or whether logically if this was something being exacerbated by my hormones.

PMDD

I also spoke to some friends about this and was surprised to learn that one of them thought she had it too, extreme bouts of crying and generally feeling down came her way. The other friend had never heard of it.

While this month was not perfect I do feel it was better than the previous months. I spoke to my husband about all of this and he agreed it is a definite possibility, although was more concerned with how to deal with it rather than knowing it has a name.

There can be some treatment options including the pill and SSRI’s, but if I’m honest after years on and off both of these things and still having this, I feel I want to give mindfulness a try, although I can 100% understand why others feeling this would want to go down the treatment route.

pmdd

I can only hope for me that knowledge is power. I have been practising meditation on and off for years but have meditated every day this year and will continue to do so. Life is too short to let something like this steal 1/4 of my month, every single month. It’s not fair on my family and husband either, so I will try my best to be rational. I feel this is something that could be affecting many others though, hence why I am writing this post. Don’t let it take over, if you think you could be suffering with PMDD, do some research, speak to your doctor, but do something. If you are interested the PMDD group which I joined on facebook can be found here.

Thanks for reading and you can find me on InstagramFacebookTwitterMy Fitness Pal and Fitbit. Add me on any or all, I love new friends on all social media for support and updates from me!

sober clubbing

Sober Clubbing Glasgow | Bad Alcohol

This year I have severely cut back on my alcohol consumption, having drank twice or three times, and not much on any of these occasions. This has been an intentional act, not one to make it into my New Years Resolutions as I don’t want to feel tied to it, but over time I have found drinking alcohol agrees with me less and less, for a number of reasons.

As I have aged my hangovers have became awful. Around 20% of the time they are normal level, tired, not right for a day or two. But 80% of the time I can’t move for about 12 hours after drinking without being sick. I fondly (!) remember a night out with friends, having to travel back on the train and being sick in random bins, even in my hands at one point. Honestly, it’s horrific thinking about it. Not only am I sick, I feel awful mentally and physically for at least two days. A general feeling of malaise (never used that word before!), the fear making me not want to leave the house, or engage with anyone ever again. On top of that my filter that stops me stuffing my face completely disappears, and I eat anything in sight, usually fatty, salty takeaways.

After this extreme event I feel awful, binging on food and alcohol clearly doesn’t agree with me, and it often starts a period of overeating. I am also concerned that when I start drinking a frenzy begins and before you know it I’m doing shots and it’s 3 am. This cannot be having a good impact on my liver, or weight loss efforts.

So with all of this in mind I think it’s understandable that I want to cut back on drinking. However, I still want to socialise! I used to love a good night out clubbing, the music, the lights, the dancing, I have always enjoyed it. I’ve never felt hugely confident while out clubbing, and while I have enjoyed nights out there is something about a dark night club full of drunk people that makes me feel on edge.

While on Facebook I saw an event that caught my eye, Sober Clubbing at Ivory Blacks. Vegan snacks and fruit juice to keep you going. My thought process was, “That sounds fun”, “Wait, are you actually brave enough to dance sober, in front of strangers?”, “Will anyone go with you?”.

sober clubbing

I shared this on Facebook and a friend from work said she was up for it, so we booked our tickets. My husband thought it sounded awful, one of my friends said it made them sad. I’m not sure why going out and not drinking has such an affect on people.

sober clubbing

On the 29th May me and my friend went along and it was one of the most fun, liberating nights I have had, no exaggeration. I danced like I have never danced in public, surrounded by like-minded strangers. I was sweating, adorned with a flower garland and glowsticks, and all sober. Mindblowing that I actually managed it, but also mindblowing that I had the best time! Sober Clubbing Part 3 is on the 3rd of June and I’ve already signed up for it with a super early bird ticket.

sober clubbing

There was also a vegan meetup group on meetup.com so may dip my toe in with this next time too. I’d like to get out there and socialise some more and that seems a good way to do it! All round sober clubbing was a hugely positive and enjoyable experience, no hangover, healthy snacks, calories burned and a lot of fun!

Thanks for reading and you can find me on InstagramFacebookTwitterMy Fitness Pal and Fitbit. Add me on any or all, I love new friends on all social media for support and updates from me!

 

onederland

Stuck at the edge of Onederland

I thought I should give some kind of update with progress, and unfortunately at the moment that progress is minimal and I’m stuck at the edge of Onederland, I seem to be bouncing between the same 3 – 4 pounds continually, not managing to get any of them to stick.

Is it because it has got to that point in the year where the New Years Resolutions are well and truly a distant memory? Is it because I’ve had quite a successful year up to this point and my body needs a break? Is it because I’ve had a few social events and reasons to eat out? Is it because I’ve started running properly again? I’ll break all of these down but I actually think it is a little to do with all of them.

New Years Resolutions

How can it be May already? We are at that point where I am going to hazard a guess that most people have already long quit their New Years Resolutions. I don’t think I’m one of them, I still have my eye on the year long goal. But my focus has definitely began to slip a little.

My body needs a break? 

I am a firm believer in set-point theory around weight loss, that your body reaches a high weight and is continually trying to get back to it, seeing this as the safest weight to be at in case of famine etc. Losing weight is not easy, all of us would be a healthy weight if it was. A combination of evolution driving us to the bad foods, and the set point, it’s difficult to do, especially for large amounts of weight and over an extended period of time. I’ve lost a fair bit of weight this year and quite honestly I think my body is holding on a lot harder now than it was at the start of the year.

Social Events?

I’ve been out a couple of times with friends recently and for me this is always an excuse to eat more. This then tends to bleed into the weeks around the days out. Not huge “stuffing your face eating” but enough to slow my weight loss. I’m not willing to give up all social events but I would like to find a way of dealing with this.

Running?

This is the biggie I think. Whenever I up my running time my weight loss slows to a complete halt. It happened last year when I was training to do the 10k, and it has happened again this year now I have been upping my distances. Why though? I do eat more when I’m doing longer runs, I am definitely hungrier and when I look at the calories burned via my fitbit, even if I half these I am still not eating near the limit. Or am I kidding myself? Am I sneaking a little bit more here and there? And, am I really burning what my fitbit says? I am beginning to seriously doubt it. So, what are my options? Well, run less and eat the same, or run more and eat less. With a holiday to Spain coming up I have temporarily decided to shelve longer distances. Initially I was planning to completing a 10 mile race later this month, and while I’m sure I can train up to that distance in time (My longest run recently was 13 km, 16 km is 10 miles), I’m not sure I want to. Running will surely be easier the thinner I am, so I think I again need to drag my focus back to losing weight, not running further/faster.

I do worry I am self sabotaging as I have reached (and am still in) Onederland. Hopefully constantly reviewing and revising my progress helps with this.

My plans over the run up to the holiday are to really nail the whole foods plant based food, and to eat at a deficit, but enough to feel full. My eating has been a little lazy, no doubt. I’m maintaining but not losing and it’s not good enough. I’ve been re-reading the starch solution and I’m adding more potatoes into my diet, I love them, they fill me up, plus I believe they are very good for you. Can’t face going the full spudfit route (eating only potatoes).

Thanks for reading and you can find me on InstagramFacebookTwitterMy Fitness Pal and Fitbit. Add me on any or all, I love new friends on all social media for support and updates from me!

Hurtful Comments

I’ve had my fair share of hurtful comments along the way, most of them while at my highest weight. Mostly while out at the weekends, where you are trying to make an effort to look nice and some drunk idiot shouts a name at you and brings you crashing down in seconds. If my self esteem was a little stronger these comments probably wouldn’t hurt so much, but I think the issue is deep inside I’m telling myself the same thing. Sad but true and I suspect many people probably feel the same way.

Well tonight I had a hurtful comment from someone I expected more of. I showed them the picture I shared on the site in my last post of my face to face comparison, and proudly told them I was going to post it in my first ever #facetofacefriday. I see people posting in these and #transformationtuesday on Instagram and always want to but have felt like a bit of a fraud until yesterday when I compared those pictures. So it’s great (!) to show them to someone close (the only actual real life person I have shown them to) and have them bring you skidding back into the low self esteem.

When shown the picture, first of all they squinted, took my phone off me. Comment 1 was “Your face looks unhealthily thin in the second picture, I never noticed“. Comment 2 was, “Oh and your skin looked better in the first one“. At this point I bluntly told them to get to f*ck and that they were being totally out of order, this was followed by a quick “But you look much better now!”. Yeah, I don’t believe it. Well, no, that’s not strictly true, I do think I look much better now, I was just completely shocked.

This person has never been hugely supportive of me losing weight, mentioning about not losing too much, what about the loose skin etc etc, focusing on the negatives instead of the massive positives. Never thinking of what I want, health an vitality, seriously, eff the loose skin, I want to live longer, and healthier. Not that they have been unsupportive either, more a casual, slightly disinterested observer. Not revelling in my successes, not kicking me when I’m down. Just completely average.

My instant reaction was to get angry, then sad. Queue 10 minutes of crying to myself listening to Radiohead. I’m not usually a crier but for some reason this really hurt me. This person then accused me looking for a reason to get offended and that I had taken the comment out of context. Asking for clarification of context, they said, I just meant in that picture, of course I look better now. Too little too late I’m afraid.

Honestly, I’m sorry for the rant, but when things like this happen, especially from close people I am so saddened. When you can’t be supported by those closest to you it’s a sad day. Even if they thought what they thought, would that not have been an appropriate time to keep it to themselves? I certainly would have. I would have considered what the other person would have felt. Am I being overdramatic? On edge? They did apologise eventually but now I feel they were forced into it and only did it because they could sense this was a big hurt for me.

This has taught me something I already knew, my self esteem is not in a good place. It never has been. If it was stronger I could have just shrugged this off, but this really upset me. Really, in an idea world, what other people think about me would have little to no effect, because I know and believe what I think about myself. I would like to find some way of working on this. My self esteem has never been good, but losing weight doesn’t appear to have helped it. I’m stuck in this weird place in my head where I’m still 70 pounds heavier, barely able to see the difference in my body. I’m not sure where to go from here with it but I’m always open to suggestions.

Feel free to hit me up on InstagramFacebookTwitterMy Fitness Pal and Fitbit. Any tips for improving self esteem would be much appreciated.

Onederland | Vegan Weight Loss

You know you are on a long term weight loss journey when Onederland becomes a mythical place of wonder and joy. Okay, maybe a little too far but honestly, this weekend when I reached it, I was feeling pretty full of wonder and joy.

onederland

So what is Onederland? I believe the standard definition is when you reach into the 100 and something pounds as opposed to the 200 and something. I first heard of onederland way back in 2011 when I first started using my fitness pal. My start weight was 270 pounds, 199 seemed a long, probably unachievable way. Then I began to lose weight pretty steadily, I got to 213, less than a stone to go! Then I fell well and truly off the wagon, over a few years of yoyoing back up and down, in May 2015 I arrived back at my original 270 pounds. The losses of my parents over the previous two years had really affected me, left me at my most unhealthy, barely able to walk for 10 minutes without stopping to catch my breath, but something about watching my dad get sick and ultimately die made me see my own mortality, and the I understood the damage I was doing to myself.

Onederland was a painful reminder of how close I had previously been, and I think somewhere inside I thought I was destined to never reach it again. 2.5 years later and I stepped on the scales this weekend to see 199. I could have cried. 71 pounds lost, 5 stone, 100 and something. It was overwhelming. I still have a long way to go, 59 pounds until I reach my loose goal of 140 pounds, but this was a massive achievement and I really feel I can do this. After the damage of last weekend I have been pretty good all week and it’s great to see it pay off. I was out this weekend, had a few drinks and not the best food but not enough to put anything on so I’m not worrying about it.

I also dug out some old pictures this weekend of me at my heaviest and while I will hold onto the worst for when I get to my target I thought I would do a little face to face comparison. A lot of the time I can’t see that I’ve lost weight, but these pictures really highlight it to me. Picture on the left was 2011, picture on the right was Saturday.

Onederland Face Comparison

Thanks for reading and you can find me on InstagramFacebookTwitterMy Fitness Pal and Fitbit. Add me on any or all, I love new friends on all social media for support and updates from me!

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