The Diminishing Vegan

Veganism and Weight Loss

Category: During (Page 1 of 3)

Consistency

Extended Absence

I fear I am just destined to be an intermittent blogger, no matter my inner promises to blog somehow life gets in the way, when time and mental space are at a premium my poor blog suffers! I’m still active on Instagram and My Fitness Pal during these times, it just becomes increasingly difficult to fit in time to write full posts. Anyway, enough of me beating myself up for my absence and onto the reasons/excuses.

The main source of lack of time is that I started a new job 7 weeks ago, it’s the type of job that for a long time I thought I would never do. For the last couple of years I have worked in a software development role, but I would use that term a little loosely. There was day to day development but it heavily leaned on an existing framework, which was great, it offered a level of support in such a small team, but I was aware that ideally I wanted to get into a more hands on, technical development role. A recruiter contacted me for a role at a large international company, I  interviewed (even with a technical test), and I was over the moon when I was offered it, but at the same time terrified. I have impostor syndrome, although not as bad as it once was. While at uni I remember thinking “Well, there is no way I’m going to be able to do this as a job“, that I had wasted my time (I got a first class honours degree and postgraduate diploma with distinction..didn’t exactly scrape passing!), that I would never be good enough to work in this field.

Starting this job was a massive step, it was a little overwhelming to begin with, they have huge projects, not in my first programming language and a fairly large international team. But I have tried to take on lessons I have learned in years of meditation and mindfulness, don’t think too much about the big picture, notice when I am stuck ruminating on my fear and distract myself, and just get on with it.

It’s difficult at this stage to tangibly say how I’m doing, but I’m enjoying it, feel I am understanding things and writing code in a way I haven’t since University. The atmosphere is very positive, I’ve made some nice friends, it’s a world away from my previous job which I enjoyed but had some serious flaws. My commuting time has cut by 40 minutes each way as well, so I have more time back to myself, and it’s more money with routes upwards, better benefits. Overall it has been highly positive, and I’m looking forward to keep pushing forward.

My gym and diet however, especially in the last few weeks of my old job and first month of this have not been great or very consistent. I haven’t flown completely off track, but my weight has crept up a little, I’m currently 13 stone, 3.5, or 185.5 pounds. This is 6 pounds up from my lightest weight 2 months ago.

My weight is fluctuating wildly at the moment, initially I thought there was something going on physically (unsure what though) but now I think it is a combination of dropping off going to the gym, and general inconsistency with food. I am very susceptible to bloat after eating salty/oily food, it hangs around for days, and there has definitely been more of this on the menu in the last few months.

To get back in the routine I have been meal planning, and batch cooking at the weekend. For the last two weeks I have picked up exercising again, running and weights at the gym. I’ve changed the plan I’m following and will do a post about this next week. The IT department (including software development) have a weight loss competition I have joined to keep me motivated. They also have a little gym which I’m going to try out at lunch time with one the girls who goes fairly regularly. Overall, everything is moving in the right direction now, but things have definitely been a little bumpy!

Thank you anyone still around and I’m sorry for not being about! I suppose that is real life and weight loss, sometimes your focus has to shift, but it’s important to not throw it all away. A few pounds I can handle, it’s about recognising when things are going south and putting the brakes on before you end up back at square one.

We’re going on holiday to Dubrovnik in 3 weeks and I’m looking forward to trying some of the vegan options out there, so there will be some upcoming posts about that too. I’m also going to do some posts on my meal prepping/batch cooking healthy meals to save time during the week.

To join and support me (and also to get some support back too!) please add me on My Fitness Pal , and other social media, InstagramFacebookTwitterFitbit.

Consistency

2019 Week 6 Update

This week I’ve lost 1 pound, this year that is now 11 pounds.

My total weight loss is now 82.5 pounds, with 47.5 to go to reach my 10 stone goal weight.

No OMAD this week, every day I have fasted for between 16 to 18 hours. I’ve eaten between 1200 and 1500 calories a day. Still taking a B12 supplement, Biotin supplement and a vitamin D supplement, I bought a new vegan friendly mushroom based supplement from Holland and Barrett at the weekend so will give this a try.

Exercise this week –

  • Sunday – Lower body strength workout
  • Monday – AM and PM – 2.5 km rum, 2.5 km hill walk, swimming my with my daughter then 1 hour of swimming in the evening
  • Tuesday – PM – 1 hour of cardio at the gym
  • Wednesday – PM – Upper body strength workout
  • Thursday – AM – 15 minute HIIT, PM – Rest
  • Friday – PM – 1 hour cardio at the gym
  • Saturday – AM – 5km Run

My plans for next week are –

  • Sunday – AM – 1 hour 15 minutes Lower Body/Core Strength Training
  • Monday – AM – 15 minute HIIT, PM – Chest and Triceps/Core Strength Training
  • Tuesday – AM – 15 minute HIIT, Rest
  • Wednesday – AM – 15 minute HIIT, PM – Back and Biceps/Core Strength Training
  • Thursday –  AM – 15 minute HIIT, PM – Swimming
  • Friday – AM – 15 minute HIIT, 1 hour Gym Cardio
  • Saturday – AM – 5km Run

To join and support me (and also to get some support back too!) please add me on My Fitness Pal , and other social media, InstagramFacebookTwitterFitbit.

Consistency

2019 Week 5 Update

This week I’ve lost 3 pounds, this year that is now 10 pounds.

My total weight loss is now 81.5 pounds, with 48.5 to go to reach my 10 stone goal weight. I’m officially the lightest I have been in around 10 years..madness.

No OMAD this week, I’m struggling to fit it in if I’m being honest. Every day I have fasted for between 16 to 18 hours. I’ve eaten between 1200 and 1500 calories a day. Still taking a B12 supplement, Biotin supplement and a vitamin D supplement although I’m on the lookout for a new one as I’m not keen on the D Spray I have.

Exercise this week –

  • Sunday – Lower body strength workout
  • Monday – AM – 15 minute HIIT, PM – 1 hour of swimming
  • Tuesday – AM – Upper body strength workout
  • Wednesday – Rest Day
  • Thursday – AM – 15 minute HIIT, PM 1 hour of swimming
  • Friday – PM – 1 hour and 10 minutes cardio at the gym
  • Saturday – AM – 1 hour and 10 minutes cardio at the gym

My plans for next week are –

  • Sunday – AM – 1 hour lower body Strength Training
  • Monday – AM – 15 minute HIIT, PM – Swimming
  • Tuesday – AM – 15 minute HIIT, PM – 1 hour of gym cardio
  • Wednesday – AM – 15 minute HIIT, PM – Upper body strength training
  • Thursday –  AM – 15 minute HIIT, PM – Swimming
  • Friday – AM – 15 minute HIIT, possible rest day although the gym was so quiet this week I’m tempted to go back and do something on the Friday as well
  • Saturday – AM – Long Run/Cardio

Weights are still improving slowly, although I’m planning on doing a post about this soon. This week my husband has been tagging along to exercise with me which has been a good motivation. He really complimented me by saying that although the gym is full of super fit people I work out as hard as the rest of them…I do try!

To join and support me (and also to get some support back too!) please add me on My Fitness Pal , and other social media, InstagramFacebookTwitterFitbit.

2019 Week 4 Update

Last week I’ve stayed the same, this year that is still 7 pounds

My total weight loss is now 78.5 pounds, with 51.5 to go to reach my 10 stone goal weight.

No OMAD this week due to when my exercise has been scheduled. Most days I have fasted for 16 to 18 hours. I’ve eaten between 1200 and 1500 calories a day. I’ve added in a B12 tablet vitamin supplement and a biotin supplement daily, and I’m taking my B12 spray and D spray.

Exercise this week –

  • Sunday – Lower body strength workout
  • Monday – AM – 15 minute HIIT, PM – 1 hour of swimming
  • Tuesday – AM – Upper body strength workout
  • Wednesday – PM – 1 hour and 10 minutes cardio at the gym
  • Thursday – AM – 15 minute HIIT, PM 1 hour of swimming
  • Friday – Rest Day
  • Saturday – Hungover but did go for a walk

My plans for next week are –

  • Sunday – AM – 1 hour lower body Strength Training
  • Monday – AM – 15 minute HIIT, PM – Swimming
  • Tuesday – AM – 15 minute HIIT, PM – 1 hour of gym cardio
  • Wednesday – AM – 15 minute HIIT, PM – Upper body strength training
  • Thursday –  AM – 15 minute HIIT, PM – Swimming
  • Friday – AM – 15 minute HIIT
  • Saturday – AM – 1 hour of gym cardio

This week has been good with food. I’ve found myself focusing on it a lot less, generally not sitting thinking about it. I’m wondering if this is a side affect of eating the same thing every day? Exercise has felt good this week. I feel my cardiovascular fitness is improving, my swimming form for front crawl is getting better and I’m definitely feeling more comfortable in the weights room at the gym. No falling off the wagon which marks a full month on it. Bit annoyed I haven’t lost weight but unfortunately as I know too well weight loss isn’t linear!

To join and support me (and also to get some support back too!) please add me on My Fitness Pal , and other social media, InstagramFacebookTwitterFitbit.

Vegan Blood Test Results Dashboard

Blood Test for Health Results | Medichecks

This post is part two, following on from the original post about Blood Tests for Health, you should probably read that first if you haven’t already.

I sent my results via the post office on the Friday afternoon and by the Tuesday I had my results and doctors feedback by way of an email and an update on the Medichecks website.

It was a bit of a mixed bag, some of which I was surprised about and other bits not so surprised.

Starting from the top down –

  • Alanine Transferase – Raised levels can show an inflamed liver which can be caused by alcohol, drugs or hepatitis.
  • Alkaline Phosphatase – Test for problems with liver, gallbladder or bones, raised levels can show bone or liver disease.
  • Creatine Kinase – Shows muscle cell damage.
  • Gamma GT – Can be raised in liver and bile duct diseases, can also be raised in alcoholics.
  • Bilirubin – Elevated levels can cause jaundice and indicate liver damage.

All of the liver function tests came back well within the normal range, in fact all on the low side of normal.

  • Ferritin – standard iron level test

Iron came back normal, not on the high side but within normal levels, which was great as I’m never sure whether I am getting enough green vegetables, this test would suggest I am. Iron is something I don’t supplement but have considered whether I should or not, years of conditioning about red meat is obviously stuck in my head!

  • Triglycerides – raised levels can be a risk factor for vascular disease.
  • Cholesterol – total cholesterol, made up ot HDL and LDL.
  • HDL Cholesterol – good cholesterol, removes cholesterol from the bloodstream.
  • LDL Cholesterol – Bad cholesterol, can cause fatty deposits and atheroscelrosis.
  • Non-HDL Cholesterol – Calculated by subtracting HDL from total cholesterol.
  • Total HDL/Cholesterol Ratio

Cholesterol levels all came back normal , HDL (good cholesterol) was on the high side of normal, and LDL was normal. Cholesterol was one of the measurements I was really keen to see the results of. When I was almost 6 stone heavier, and eating a diet laden in animal fat (fat in general) I’m doubt my cholesterol was normal. I have no evidence of this, but it’s a worry I have had over the years. Added to that my father had a triple bypass, and ultimately a heart attack is what killed my mother, I’m acutely aware of attempting to avoid heart disease. It’s also the Western World’s biggest killer, so who wouldn’t want to avoid it? Overall cholesterol was still a little higher than I would have liked, although I have heard that your cholesterol can be raised when you are losing fat. I’m still doing this, so I will continue to keep an eye on it as my weight drops and see if I can get it even better.

  • CRP-hs – C-Reactive Protein, used to show inflammation in the body.

This came back on the low of the range. Apparently anything below 1 is completely normal. I do think about inflammation, I have psoriasis which is caused by inflammation within the body (it is an auto immune response), although since changing diet and losing weight this has drastically decreased. I wonder if it would have been higher previously?

  • Vitamin B12 and Vitamin D – general vitamin test

This is where there were some issues. Both my B12 and D were low which confused and concerned me a little. They do ask when taking the test that you stop taking your supplementation which I duly did, so I do wonder if that was what took me over the edge outside of the normal range. I know though in myself that I can definitely be forgetful when it comes to taken my B12 supplement. The current supplement that I use is the Boost Better You B12 Spray which supplies you with 1200 ug of B12 per every daily 4 sprays. I also have a vitamin D spray which I barely use. Since taking this test I have made taking these more regular, every single day now rather than once or twice a week.

  • Testosterone – General reading of testosterone levels.

This came back within normal levels. A little on the high of normal but I’m not really sure what this means.

Vegan Blood Test Results

Full blood test results

My dashboard has now populated with my test results. The dashboard features blank areas for all the tests you haven’t done, really tempting you to do them all.

Vegan Blood Test Results Dashboard

The doctors feedback from the test was positive, they said well done for losing weight, my cholesterol levels were good considering, and that all other readings were fine other than B12 and D which can be low in anyone, and to make sure that I supplement regularly. They recommend I retest vitamin D and B12 in 3 months, and have a full blood test done in a year.

If there was one thing about this whole thing that I wish was different, it is that I wish I had taken one of these tests before I started losing weight, and before I went vegan. I *think* the results would have been very different, but that is just a guess.

As with my previous post, if anyone is thinking about giving Medichecks a try for personal blood tests for health then you can use the affiliate code given to me by my friend of WMAC10, this will give you 10% off the standard price. The whole process was straightforward and relatively painless (other than a finger prick!). I think checking in on your health inside as well as out is a wise idea, it certainly has given me some reassurance that I’m going the right way with my general health.

I’ve also decided I’m taking another test next week to test my thyroid. I have been borderline with this previously many years ago, but have had such a slow time losing weight I feel it is something I should at least take a look at. I could go to the doctors to get this done but I don’t have time for that, and I want my full results quickly. The thyroid test was only £29 and I used the code above to get 10% off.

Remember to add me on My Fitness Pal , and other social media, InstagramFacebookTwitterFitbit.

Consistency

2019 Week 3 Update

If you’re on the ball, you will notice there was no week 2 update….no, I’ve not given up already, but I was away at a friends last weekend and didn’t even weigh in. It was also my time of the month which pretty much guarantees a stay the same for me.

This week I’ve lost 3 pounds, this year that is now 7 pounds.

My total weight loss is now 78.5 pounds, with 51.5 to go to reach my 10 stone goal weight.

I’ve eaten between 1300 and 1500 calories every day apart from Saturday and Sunday (when I was away at my friends), and Thursday where I did one day of OMAD and ended on just under 1000 calories. I’ve added in a B12 tablet vitamin supplement and a biotin supplement daily, and I’m taking my B12 spray and D spray.

Exercise this week –

  • Sunday – Nothing (3.5 hour drive though!)
  • Monday – Nothing (was totally disorganised after being away so needed some time to meal prep/catch up at home)
  • Tuesday – AM – 15 minute HIIT, PM – 5k run on treadmill, 20 minutes on elliptical
  • Wednesday – AM – 15 minute HIIT, PM – 1 hour upper body strength training
  • Thursday – AM – 15 minute HIIT, PM – Rest
  • Friday – AM – 15 minute HIIT, PM – 55 minutes swimming
  • Saturday – AM – 5km run on treadmill

My plans for next week are –

  • Sunday – AM – 1 hour lower body Strength Training
  • Monday – AM – 15 minute HIIT, PM – Swimming
  • Tuesday – AM – 15 minute HIIT, PM – Upper body strength training
  • Wednesday – AM – 15 minute HIIT, PM – Rest
  • Thursday –  AM – 15 minute HIIT, PM – 5k run, 20 minutes on elliptical
  • Friday – AM – 15 minute HIIT, PM – Swimming
  • Saturday – AM – Lower body strength training

I’m really happy with how this week has went, especially with my food. Considering I was away at the weekend when I do a lot of my preparation it would have been really easy to default to convenience and takeaways but I managed to keep on track and still fit in the exercise. I know I won’t lose 3 pounds every week, but I’ll take it while I can!

To join and support me (and also to get some support back too!) please add me on My Fitness Pal , and other social media, InstagramFacebookTwitterFitbit.

Blood Test for Health | Medichecks

My leading motivation for losing weight has always been to improve my health. Before I started losing weight (back at 270 pounds), my underlying health (or lack thereof) would pop into my head, usually when I was ill and I would start to really worry. It’s difficult to truly care about your health when you were shoving pretty much any and all fatty food into your mouth, smoking like a chimney, and the most exercise you ever took was walking back and forth to the fridge. There were periods of caring (dieting and exercising) but none ever stuck long term.

This all changed, as I’ve discussed previously, when my parents died. My mum’s sudden death in 2013, then my dad’s drawn out illness and death in 2015 really brought health to the focus of my life. Death staring you in the face can be a powerful tool for change, and I found I wanted to live a long and happy life.

When it comes to being really truly healthy, losing weight is really one step of many. When I started calorie counting my diet was still far from optimal,  I did eat some plant based foods but nowhere near enough, still barely exercised, I calorie counted junk. But I still lost weight which was good enough, to begin with anyway.

When I went vegan I gradually transformed my diet, moving further and further towards plants. That is when I began the real research of health, and what being healthy really meant. I listened to podcasts, read blogs and books, spoke with knowledgeable people. I have spent a lot of time researching how to improve my health. I take the supplements I believe I need (Vitamin B12 and D), I try to eat a wide variety of plant foods, exercise, get enough sleep, meditate, generally look after myself to the best of my ability as time allows. I slowly lose weight, I feel good, but do I know if my health has actually improved? I know I definitely feel better, but not knowing about a number of key health measurable’s definitely causes me some consternation. I have always had an interest in health monitoring, I’ve had multiple iterations of Fitbit’s over the years, and very happily report that my heart rate is 20 bpm lower than it used to be thanks to losing the weight I have so far.

Some of my favourite vegan Youtubers (specifically springing to mind is Happy Healthy Vegan) fairly regularly take a blood test for health and then post their results publicly. Ryan from Happy Healthy Vegan had posted his results after his online arguments with Shaun Baker, infamous from his ridiculous carnivore diet, and his terrible blood test results.

Recently, myself and a friend who is very interested in health and fitness had a number of conversations relating to taking blood tests for health, and personal health screening. He recommended checking out the online company Medichecks, who he had used a number of times before, and said they were quick with getting the results back to you and reasonably priced.

I took a look at their site and saw that they offer a large list of personal health tests, depending on what results you are looking for. Most of these tests are taken via a finger prick, but you can also arrange for some to be taken venously. I was keen on doing the test myself, time constraints making arranging the venous test difficult.

Blood Test for Health Medichecks tests

Blood Tests provided by Medichecks

My budget wasn’t huge, and the choice was wide and varied so instead of uming and ahing for a long time, after a browse I decided to just go for the baseline fit test which cost £55 (down from £69 with a new member discount). The name certainly indicated it would give me what I wanted, an idea of my baseline fitness, and test gives 16 results covering a variety of areas:

  • Liver Function
    • ALP
    • ALT
    • CK
    • Gamma GT
    • Bilirubin
  • Iron
    • Ferritin
  • Cholesterol
    • Triglicerydes
    • Overall Cholesterol
    • HDL Cholsterol
    • LDL Cholsterol
    • Non HDL Cholesterol
  • Heart Disease Risk
    • HDL % of Total
  • Inflammation Marker
    • CRP-hs
  • Vitamins
    • B12 Active
    • D
  • Hormones
    • Testosterone

The tests I was most interested in were for Cholesterol, Iron, Vitamin B12 and D. For Cholesterol I have always been interested to know what my measurements are. I didn’t have cholesterol tested when I was 5+ stone heavier and eating a diet full of animal products but my guess is that it surely it would have been pretty high. As I’m still overweight, and heart disease being the biggest killer in the Western world, cholesterol measurements are of interest to me. Iron is something I think about fairly regularly, worrying am I eating enough green vegetables to get to the required intake? It’s difficult to know purely by diet. Most of the country is deficient in B12, and I often forget to take my supplement, and D is just difficult to get in certain countries, the UK being one. The rest of the results would be interesting to give me a baseline reading but these the above were the statistics I was really interested in.

The whole ordering process was straightforward, there was a section where you could add some information and in here I noted that I had lost 5 stone, was vegan and was looking for some general health information after having lost so much weight. There was the option to receive doctors feedback although apparently this can make it slightly slower. I chose to take this, as I felt the interpretation of results would be handy especially as it was the first time taking the test.

Once I had ordered my test, I input my health and lifestyle details and received feedback on these via their Health & Lifestyle dashboard. I was pretty pleased, I know a follow a healthy lifestyle but there is clearly room for improvement, especially in the BMI and body fat readings (I’m trying Medichecks, I’m trying!)

Blood Test for Health Medichecks Dashboard

Health and Lifestyle Dashboard in Medichecks

Medichecks recommends that you stop taking your supplements before the test, so I duly did this, and after a few days a parcel arrived at my house and was waiting for me when I got home from work. The box itself was very well packed and presented professionally.

Blood Test for Health Box

Blood Test for Health Inside Box

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On opening all of the required items were laid out nicely, the instructions were very clear and all round, considering taking blood is never really a nice thing to do, they made it very straightforward.

Blood Test for Health Inside Box 2

What you receive inside the box differs depending on what test you are taking. My box only required one sample bottle of blood so on the left had a plastic container which held the bottle inside. At the top there are four finger prick devices and at the bottom right there are extensive instructions in how to carry out the test. Behind the instructions is a pre-paid return bag that you hand in to any post office.

Whenever I have blood taken at the doctors it has always been problematic, usually resorting to a vein on the back of my hand. It’s safe to say I was definitely a little concerned about the ability of the finger prick device to get enough blood for the test. Medichecks recommend taking the blood test in the morning, and my friend suggested a holding a hot drink to bring the blood flow to the surface of your skin, so I duly got myself ready while drinking my usual black coffee.

I opened the bottle, and within the box there is a little cardboard hole you can place it in so you all you need to do is hold your finger above and let gravity drip the blood in. There were two lines on the bottle and my instructions said to fill to the second line, it looked like quite a lot of blood!

I took out the finger prick device and suddenly felt nervous that it was going to hurt. I went with my left middle finger, and pressed down on the pad. A tiny bead of blood came out and I thought here we go! I stood up and held my finger over the bottle and the blood flow stopped almost immediately. Massaging my finger pushed out one other tiny drop but nothing after that. My initial thought was that I had just wasted £55 as I wouldn’t be able to get this required blood out.

As they provide 4 finger pricks, I moved onto a new finger, my fourth finger but this time went for the tip rather than the pad. Instantly the blood flow was different, faster. I held my finger over the bottle and it filled up incredibly quickly. It barely needed massaged at all, and in about 20 seconds I was done. I cleaned myself up, plastered my pricked fingers and screwed the cap on the bottle. You fill in a sticker with your name, date and time of test, and put the bottle within the plastic container the provide, then put this, along with the return note in the plastic bag. It is important to remember the return note as this tells them which test you are due to have carried out, without this they won’t even do the test.

That day at lunchtime I took my sample to the nearest post office and sent it away. The wait was on for results. Part 2 will be coming next week so if you are interested keep an eye out for this.

If anyone is thinking about giving Medichecks a try for personal blood tests for health then you can use the affiliate code given to me by my friend of WMAC10, this will give you 10% off the standard price.

To join and support me (and also to get some support back too!) please add me on My Fitness Pal , and other social media, InstagramFacebookTwitterFitbit.

Consistency

Monthly Measurements – January 2019

Along with some other regular posts I’m going to be making, I’m throwing a monthly measurements post in here too. Alongside actually losing weight, it’s important to track the impact this has on my measurements. I have been intermittently tracking my measurements since way back in 2015 and I’m 42.5 inches down from various parts of my body.

For the first post I will include my original measurements and also the measurements I have taken as of this morning. I’ll update these once a month and eventually add some pictures.

5th August 2015

Area Measurement
Hips 54.5 inches
Waist 48 inches
Bust 51 inches
Under Bust 46 inches
Upper Thigh 27.5 inches
Calf 19 inches
Bicep 16 inches

13th January 2019

Area Measurement Lost
Hips 46.5 inches 11 inches
Waist 37 inches 8 inches
Bust 44.5 inches 6.5 inches
Under Bust 39.5 inches 6.5 inches
Upper Thigh 23 inches 4.5 inches
Calf 16.5 inches 2.5 inches
Bicep 13.5 inches 3.5 inches

Overall that is 42.5 inches lost, it’s great if not a little slow. I’m hoping to see more results a little faster this year. Please remember to add me on My Fitness Pal , and other social media, InstagramFacebookTwitterFitbit.

Consistency

2019 Week 1 Update

Just a quick update about my first full week after refocusing on weight loss. This week I’m down 2.5 pounds, combined with the days last week that is 4 pounds in 2019.

My total weight loss is now 75.5 pounds, with 54.5 to go to reach 10 stone.

I’ve eaten between 1400 and 1700 calories a day, around 70% carbs, 15% fat, 15% protein. Sometimes carbs have dropped into the 60s but I’m not keeping too close an eye on that.

Exercise this week –

  • Sunday – 1.5 hours cardio
  • Monday – Swimming
  • Tuesday – Lower body strength training
  • Wednesday – 5k run
  • Thursday – Rest
  • Friday – Swimming
  • Saturday – 1.5 hours cardio

A very productive week and I’m feeling great! This weekend I’ll take up to date measurements and pictures to share.

My plans for next week are –

  • Sunday – Upper body strength training
  • Monday – Swimming
  • Tuesday – Run or cardio at gym
  • Wednesday – Lower body strength training
  • Thursday – Swimming
  • Friday – Run or cardio at the gym
  • Saturday – Rest

I’m off to visit my best friend in England next weekend so won’t be overly strict next weekend. Here’s to another good week!

To join and support me (and also to get some support back too!) please add me on My Fitness Pal , and other social media, InstagramFacebookTwitterFitbit.

Consistency

Word of 2019 and looking back on 2018

Goodbye to 2018,  and Hello to a New Year. I know that really the new year has no proper significance, it is just the day we humans picked to reset our calendar, but there is no doubting for many that it provides an impetus unfelt at other times of the year.

Looking back on my 2018 my results are mixed. Overall it was a successful year, but not necessarily in some of the ways I wanted it to be. We went on our first family holiday abroad (Majorca), also went on our first couples holiday abroad (Amsterdam). We also bought our first house, which really took up a large number of months, and caused a lot of stress.

In the process of getting ready for the move I hit my target of getting rid of 2018 things in 2018, which was really needed. I think without the decluttering that has taken place in the last few years, our move would have been incredibly difficult.  We moved to a house that had more rooms (and very importantly a garden), but has less storage and floor space. In the end it was pretty easy, so much so I have signed up for 2019 in 2019, although I do think this year will be a lot harder. I’m not even sure where I’m going to start for next year, but I’m sure there is more to go, at least 2019 things.

The elephant in the room that I didn’t reach my weight goal in 2018. Not even anywhere close. I started the year at 218 pounds, reached a low of 189 pounds, but ended the year at 199, 10 pounds up from my lowest weight. So overall, over the year I lost 19 pounds. Not great, but I really need to look at the positives here. Another year has passed and I have finished it lighter than I began. The reasons why I didn’t reach the weight? Well, ironically considering my word of 2018 was Focus, I definitely lost it at times. Not to the point of completely throwing my weight loss away, but enough to make any decent headway. It is really frustrating when everyone around you seems to be easily losing weight, 3, 4 pounds a week. I remind myself I’ve lost over 5 stone so far, but it is a hard pill to swallow.

However, I put on a few pounds, lost a few, and overall I reckon I’m at least capable of maintaining. It is really now about getting my head down to get the last few stone off, and I know it is not going to be an easy task.

Time, tiredness, a busy life, they all get in the way, so my word of 2019 reflects what I need to get my weight over the finish line….Consistency. I’m going to avoid the ups and downs, the periods of non exercise and takeaways, and I’m going to give it my all to be consistent with my eating and exercise during 2019.

My plans are to focus on the day to day, rather than the actual physical weight measurement. If I can consistently eat well, exercise and get enough sleep, my body can do this. If I obsess over the minutiae, the half a pound here, or half a pound there I will get demotivated, start eating more, exercising less and maintain. I have been at this long enough to know the thought patterns, the excuses that arise in times of frustration.

My goal, 10 stone. Do I think I can do it this year? Yes..I really believe I can. I have rejoined the gym, have a new exercise and eating plan in place which involves healthy meal prepping and a little less fasting (but this will still feature I’m sure).

I am adding in another couple of health checks over the year, so keep an eye out for posts related to that too. It’s not just about weight, there is more to health than what the scales say, and I’m keen to see how healthy I really am.

To start the year I thought I would also share a recent selfie taken on a night out, and I must say I felt pretty damn good when that was taken, even at the weight I am.

Consistency

To join and support me (and also to get some support back too!) please add me on My Fitness Pal , and other social media, InstagramFacebookTwitterFitbit.

Frustration and the end of 2018

This year has went by so quickly, almost in the blink of an eye.

I am putting a lot of the feeling of that down to a few significant life related events, the biggest of which was buying our first house, then the move, which was a fairly drawn out process!

Moving house is not an easy process for anyone, but after 8 years at our rented flat, and having inherited most of my parent’s posessions after their deaths, the run up to the move was intense. I thoroughly decluttered, more than I ever had before. This was a combination of selling, giving and throwing away. Although we were moving from a 2 bedroom flat into a 3 bedroom house, our 2 bedroom flat was massive, floor space and storage were readily available. Our new house lacked in both, not that I was phased by this, I’ve always liked the idea of having a bit less space, I find you generally expand your posessions to fill the space you have, smaller space = less stuff.

We got our keys at the end of September, and gradually began moving non essential items. The main move was on the 15th October, I swear it was the wettest day of the year. Thankfully it went smoothly, but due to the sudden nature of our house purchase, and generally being short on cash, it was done on a budget. Our movers moved all of our big furniture, but we did all of the small things. This trickled on for another month, I only moved our goldfish and shrimp at the start of November, it was a military operation.

But now, mid December, we are in, mostly settled. The new house requires some work but we’re waiting until the new year to even think about this.

Weight wise I have made it through this period maintaining, which is a positive considering how much takeaway food I have eaten. I have continued fasting, mostly whole foods plant based, but not as rigid as I would have liked, and certainly not good enough to lose weight. Exercise has been minimal, I did go do a 5K  and to the gym last week and I think next year I will be ready to start adding that back in again.

I’m looking forward to the start of 2019. I thought this would be my year to reach my target weight, but alas it was not to be. Maybe 2019 will be that year? On the other hand I am glad to have made it through another year lighter than I was at the start of the previous one, plus my general health and energy levels have been fantastic, and this is not something I can easily discount.

Please add me on My Fitness Pal , and other social media, InstagramFacebookTwitterFitbit. I love new people and the support from online sources is invaluable.

1000 Days on My Fitness Pal

Unbelievably, I have reached a 1000 day streak on My Fitness Pal. I don’t think I’ve ever logged into something for such a long streak of days ever. My streak began on Monday 28th November 2015 an wow, so much has changed since then!

I had not been vegan very long then, I went vegan on the 4th November 2015. I was still a student having not long started my Postgraduate Diploma, I had lost about a stone at that point, having stopped smoking a few months before at the end of May.

In that time I have –

  • Graduated
  • Got my first job (left)
  • Got my second job (still there)
  • Lost another 4.5 stone
  • Went abroad on holiday for the first time since I was a child
  • Ran a 10K

And just for nostalgia, here is the post I made at my 200 day streak.

My Fitness Pal

It’s been full of ups and downs, I have had a lot of time stuck in that period, but I have chipped away and am reaching my goals, I don’t care if it takes me 1000 more days, as long as I am going down the way I’ll be happy (it would be good to finally reach my end goal though one day!). I also lost 1 pound on my 1000 day streak, which marks my first downward movement since June!

Some of the things I have done with My Fitness Pal over the years? There have been plenty of days where I’ve logged in and only added water, just to make sure it registers. Also, remembering right as I’m about to go to sleep, and having to quickly login again just to check. I hope other users also do these things.

While I have had periods of no diary logging, I always go back there, and I honestly think it is one of the best apps/websites I use. I recommend it to anyone I speak to about weight loss, calorie counting I feel is the most reliable way to lose weight, and I don’t think anyone else does it better than My Fitness Pal. The community is good too, I regularly browse the forums for inspiration. I have made friends there too from all over the world, and I love looking at other people’s diaries. Overall it is a great too, and free as well. I have tried the paid for version but quite honestly the free version has so much information, it’s more than enough for me.

Here’s to the next 1000 days! Please add me on My Fitness Pal , and other social media, InstagramFacebookTwitterFitbit. I love new people and the support from online sources is invaluable.

weightloss failure

My ongoing weightloss failure (and what I’m going to do about it)

I really don’t like to make a post which such a negative title, but I’m stuck in a rut when it comes to weightloss failure and I really need to do something about it. I feel this rut is inevitable, and I guess potentially the reason most people are unsucessful losing weight in the long term. You stop losing weight for a variety of reasons such as :

  • Your body has adjusted to lower calories but you haven’t made any changes
  • You start eating more and not realising it
  • You stop exercising but continue eating more
  • You get bored
  • You have a personal crisis/stress period and start eating more

When the weight loss stops, you may not have fixed your underlying problems with food, you get annoyed, fed up, eat a little more, the cycle continues, before you know it you are gaining again but ignoring it. You stop weighing, feel your clothes getting tighter, eat more until eventually you reach a point when you just say enough, bite the bullet and weigh yourself and either you have gained, or you may even be the same weight you were to start with (or more!). I’ve been there. This has happened to me twice, I have lost 3 stone twice and put it all back on. Losing weight is very difficult over the long term.

Losing weight is what I am currently failing at, I am stuck, I have been stuck now for a number of months. The 16th June was the last time I registered a loss. Very very frustrating. Since that period I had a week long holiday in Spain where I overate and drank, I put on around 6 pounds and lost it within a week. I have bobbed about the same 2 – 3 pounds since then depending on water retention.

Why? Why am I stuck? Well, I could make a lot of excuses, the one I hear myself saying all the time (and I mean all the time) is that my body has had enough of weight loss. 5 and a half stone is as much as it wants to do. I say this as if my body has it’s own brain and has made some kind of conscious decision. People tilt their head and nod understandingly, saying something like, oh you’ve lost so much already, surely you don’t have that much left to go anyway. I still have nearly 4 stone to go! I don’t feel anywhere near done yet.

My real reason for being stuck probably is a number of reasons:

  1. I stopped OMAD (I found it too extreme), but I’m still doing 18-20 hour fasts every weekday, and 14-18 hour fasts at the weekend. I think fasting has helped me not gain.
  2. I upped my calories a little as I felt I was struggling (1200ish to 1500ish). I did this because I just felt as if I should be able to eat more, I compared myself to others and felt I was too restrictive.
  3. I have stopped exercising as much. In my personal life there is an ongoing issue (regarding housing), and it is taking up my thoughts, and some time. This is time I was previously exercising.

When it actually comes down to it though, the real reason I’m failing can only be that I am eating too much! I know, it’s not just as straightforward as calories in vs calories out. Hormones, Microbiome, Sleep/Stress etc all play a part. But people in parts of the world starving don’t generally have a two month plateau. I’m not suggesting a starvation diet is required, but I need to stop making excuses to myself. Excuses are not going to get me to my goal, they help literally no one.

My goal regarding my weight is healthy, rather than too slim. My body will be ruined in a way. After over 9 stone (hopefully) of weight loss I am under no illusions my skin is going to go back into place. But how I look isn’t why I’m doing this. I’m doing this to not be obese.

Why do I want so much to not be obese? Well, we’re all going to die, I watched my parents die, I know there is no stopping it, but I don’t want to live a lifestyle that hurries it along. One of the biggest causes of death is obesity, or more specifically the increased risk of other health problems that obesity brings, cancer, heart disease and many others.

So, what am I going to do about my goals..? I’m going to think back to the 1st January this year when I posted my word for the year..the word was Focus.

I’m going to remember how much that word means this year and I am going to fully refocus on what I have power over. The main thing I have power over is how much I am eating. I’m putting my calories back down slightly, back to 1250. If I exercise I will allow myself to eat less than half back, I’m sceptical how much I really burn.

For food I will keep doing what I’m doing with whole foods and fasting, however I will cut back to my new calorie goal.

Every day I will have:

  • A salad with grains, legumes, greens, potatoes and other vegetables.
  • A fruit smoothie/nice cream.
  • A main meal.

Everything will be weighed and measured, and added to my fitness pal, every single mouthful.

I’m going to start properly weighing in every week on instagram/this site. I’m not sure on the best day to weigh in, I would like to avoid weight fluctuations so think mid-week is probably best, at the moment I will go with Thursday. I may move this to around the weekend as they do tend to be a bit of a problem.

I did consider rejoining a slimming club but I still fundamentally believe they are unecessary. What I need is accountability without prescribed actions, and without the cost! So my accountability will come from you guys on the internet. You are going to help cheer me over the finish line.

 

Exercise will be gradually re-added in. I am struggling with the personal housing issues (trying to buy a house and it’s not going well!) but this should be sorted one way or another in the next couple of weeks, and I can’t keep making excuses about not being able to fit it in. Even 15 – 20 minutes in the morning is better than nothing. The exercises I will be doing will be a mix of strength training (I will make a post about this soon), running and swimming.

I’m thinking about starting a Youtube channel, or using instagram stories more but I’m worried my Scottish accent is too Scottish! I definitely need to make myself more accountable and I’m open to suggestions. I’m over the half way point and I really need a push to make it over the goal line. To lose this final weight this year will be tough, and I may not do that, but I’m going to give it my all.

Please follw me on InstagramFacebookTwitterMy Fitness Pal and Fitbit. I love new people and the support from online sources is invaluable.

Absence

I’m sorry for my extended absence, yet again consistency is something I struggle with, during weight loss and making blog posts!

I’ve not completely fallen off the wagon, my weight is exactly what it was a couple of months ago, no more no less. That however is the problem! Losing weight should not be so damn difficult. I say to myself (and others!) it’s my body, I’m 5.5 stone down and it just doesn’t want to lose anymore, but inside I think surely that cannot be right? If someone is starving their body still loses weight, it doesn’t reach 5.5 stone down and then they forever stick at that weight do they?

I know it’s not as straightforward as calories in vs calories out, but really it’s not far off, hormones have a role to play but not so much that weight loss just doesn’t happen. I don’t think it is purely down to exercise either but it’s safe to say my consistency with that hasn’t been great either.

In my defence (and I seem to say that a lot…making excuses for myself), I went on a weeks holiday (where I barely gained any weight, and lost it the next week), and I’ve been going through a stressful time for the last month with a personal issue. But these are ultimately just excuses and they mean nothing. If I can’t be accountable to myself on my own weight loss blog then where can I? I must be eating too much, and not exercising enough, and that is just it.

This week I’m going to religiously use My Fitness Pal, aim for wholefoods (which I’ve been pretty good with tbh), and get in some exercise.  I’m still fasting, 16 – 18 hours a day and I’m going to keep this up, but not aim for the 20+ hours I was, I shouldn’t need to go to those extents to lose weight. I do sometimes think about stopping calorie counting and sticking to all whole foods, but then I remind myself that sometimes I really lack self control and think calorie counting is for the best. Wish me luck!

Thanks for reading and you can find me on InstagramFacebookTwitterMy Fitness Pal and Fitbit. Add me on any or all, I love new friends on all social media for support and updates from me!

PMDD

Sorry for the wild tangent with this post, it is not related to veganism, however I do think it is slightly tied to weight loss. If you’re not a fan of anything to do with “The time of the month”, this probably isn’t the post for you, although I will refrain from going into detail!

PMS, Pre Menstrual Syndrome. I have heard and read many things about this, ranging from it affects up to 75% of women, to the idea that it doesn’t even exist but is used as a way to keep women down.

It’s the cliche isn’t it, it’s approaching the time of the month, the woman starts getting angry, crying for no reason, can’t stop eating chocolate/junk food in general. Bloating and pain can be part of this, along with nausea and an upset stomach, it’s not really a great time, and we get to experience this every month for a large portion of our lives.

When I was younger, and until I lost quite a bit of weight, I suffered from irregular periods. Years on and off the pill, two children, and yoyo weight (right up to 19 stone), meant that I could go months without a period, once even as long as 12 months. Around the time I got my first period I also started developing depression symptoms. I had period of very low lows, feelings of complete and utter lack of self worth. This led to a couple of bouts of anti depressants, and I would seem to get better for a while but then it would rear it’s ugly head again.

I never for a moment thought this was linked to my cycle initially, until my husband mentioned that around once a month I have a breakdown. Even when we first discussed this I didn’t think it could be related as I was still going through irregular periods. But fairly regularly, around once every month or two, life would just get too much. I would have constant build up in my head of negative feelings and thoughts related to pretty much anything and anyone I had any contact with. Normal life would make me angry, bitter, and it was mostly aimed at my husband.

I would feel resentful to the point of meltdown, snide comments would slip out while inside I was hating myself and trying to stop it. Eventually he would react (I wanted him to I think on some level) and there would be an allmighty blowout. This would usually end with me crying, him asking and struggling to understand what the hell was going on. A day or two later everything would be back to normal. Until the build up started again.

This cycle has happened many many times, him joking I just need to explode occasionally. Sometimes this would lead to ongoing depression, but even when depressed much of the time I would feel normal, then extreme depression would hit, and take over my life. I began to think I had bipolar, the normalness, happiness of most of the time, and the ridiculously low (and angry) bad times. I went through years of counselling on and off after losing my parents and recognised I had a very negative inner voice which initially was running out of control, and I wasn’t even aware of it.

Talking therapy and CBT taught me to recognise this, meditation has helped even further, and there is no doubt I am no longer depressed. But still, once a month I would have some kind of emotional blow out. But now, after losing weight I have a regular period, and I could see the correlation between my moods, and my periods.

I have been using the free clue app to track my periods for around a year, and can log mood changes here too, it was undeniable. Around a week before my period it begins, it raises to a crescendo where I feel almost out of control, then the day I get my period it releases. I then have around 3 weeks of normality before I’m off into lala land again.

With this knowledge I began googling “extreme mood swings with period”, “extreme PMS ” and other search terms like this, and I found information about a syndrome known as PMDD, Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder. This is a recognised condition which is believed to affect 3 – 8% of all menstruating women. How could I never have heard of this before?

According to mind.org.uk the symptoms of PMDD are:

“Emotional experiences:

  • mood swings
  • feeling upset or tearful
  • feeling angry or irritable
  • feelings of anxiety
  • feeling hopeless
  • feelings of tension or being on edge
  • difficulty concentrating
  • feeling overwhelmed
  • lack of energy
  • less interest in activities you normally enjoy
  • suicidal feelings.

Physical and behavioural experiences:

  • breast tenderness or swelling
  • pain in your muscles and joints
  • headaches
  • feeling bloated
  • changes in your appetite such as overeating or having specific food cravings
  • sleep problems
  • finding it hard to avoid or resolve conflicts with people around you
  • becoming very upset if you feel that others are rejecting you.

 

You will typically only experience these symptoms for a week or two before your period starts. The symptoms follow your menstrual cycle, so you might find they start to get better when you get your period and will usually have disappeared by the time your period is finished. “

It looks like PMS, but the extreme versions. I can recognise I have many of these symptoms, physical and emotional. My mood swings are on another level, irritability even at minute things is huge. I have considered (not seriously) suicide, many times at this period, thinking that the best thing for all of my family would be for me to not be there. This coming from someone who is mostly happy for the rest of the time, quite an extreme jump to take. I can’t avoid conflict, in fact I am so angry I am looking for it. The conflict is irrational and completely unresolvable. I have achy boobs, bloating is so bad I don’t even weigh myself for that week (and when I have I am up 5 – 7 pounds for around 5 – 7 days). The symptoms disappear as soon as I start my period.

The whole thing is debilitating, but when I know about something I instantly feel that makes me more capable of dealing with it. I’ve not sought a diagnosis, I’m unsure how you even go about that, but looking at the list of symptoms, and with years of historical data, I feel confident in saying I suffer from this.

Last period was the first one since discovering PMDD. In the run up I joined some facebook groups for support and they have been a good resource, although many people post about really out there symptoms, in general I have found them worthwhile. Last period I prepared myself mentally, to know what to expect. With meditation I have tried to be more mindful, so I tried to be aware of my feelings, to recognise when my frustration and anger was taking over, to take a few deep breaths and ask myself whether this was something I really felt, or whether logically if this was something being exacerbated by my hormones.

PMDD

I also spoke to some friends about this and was surprised to learn that one of them thought she had it too, extreme bouts of crying and generally feeling down came her way. The other friend had never heard of it.

While this month was not perfect I do feel it was better than the previous months. I spoke to my husband about all of this and he agreed it is a definite possibility, although was more concerned with how to deal with it rather than knowing it has a name.

There can be some treatment options including the pill and SSRI’s, but if I’m honest after years on and off both of these things and still having this, I feel I want to give mindfulness a try, although I can 100% understand why others feeling this would want to go down the treatment route.

pmdd

I can only hope for me that knowledge is power. I have been practising meditation on and off for years but have meditated every day this year and will continue to do so. Life is too short to let something like this steal 1/4 of my month, every single month. It’s not fair on my family and husband either, so I will try my best to be rational. I feel this is something that could be affecting many others though, hence why I am writing this post. Don’t let it take over, if you think you could be suffering with PMDD, do some research, speak to your doctor, but do something. If you are interested the PMDD group which I joined on facebook can be found here.

Thanks for reading and you can find me on InstagramFacebookTwitterMy Fitness Pal and Fitbit. Add me on any or all, I love new friends on all social media for support and updates from me!

sober clubbing

Sober Clubbing Glasgow | Bad Alcohol

This year I have severely cut back on my alcohol consumption, having drank twice or three times, and not much on any of these occasions. This has been an intentional act, not one to make it into my New Years Resolutions as I don’t want to feel tied to it, but over time I have found drinking alcohol agrees with me less and less, for a number of reasons.

As I have aged my hangovers have became awful. Around 20% of the time they are normal level, tired, not right for a day or two. But 80% of the time I can’t move for about 12 hours after drinking without being sick. I fondly (!) remember a night out with friends, having to travel back on the train and being sick in random bins, even in my hands at one point. Honestly, it’s horrific thinking about it. Not only am I sick, I feel awful mentally and physically for at least two days. A general feeling of malaise (never used that word before!), the fear making me not want to leave the house, or engage with anyone ever again. On top of that my filter that stops me stuffing my face completely disappears, and I eat anything in sight, usually fatty, salty takeaways.

After this extreme event I feel awful, binging on food and alcohol clearly doesn’t agree with me, and it often starts a period of overeating. I am also concerned that when I start drinking a frenzy begins and before you know it I’m doing shots and it’s 3 am. This cannot be having a good impact on my liver, or weight loss efforts.

So with all of this in mind I think it’s understandable that I want to cut back on drinking. However, I still want to socialise! I used to love a good night out clubbing, the music, the lights, the dancing, I have always enjoyed it. I’ve never felt hugely confident while out clubbing, and while I have enjoyed nights out there is something about a dark night club full of drunk people that makes me feel on edge.

While on Facebook I saw an event that caught my eye, Sober Clubbing at Ivory Blacks. Vegan snacks and fruit juice to keep you going. My thought process was, “That sounds fun”, “Wait, are you actually brave enough to dance sober, in front of strangers?”, “Will anyone go with you?”.

sober clubbing

I shared this on Facebook and a friend from work said she was up for it, so we booked our tickets. My husband thought it sounded awful, one of my friends said it made them sad. I’m not sure why going out and not drinking has such an affect on people.

sober clubbing

On the 29th May me and my friend went along and it was one of the most fun, liberating nights I have had, no exaggeration. I danced like I have never danced in public, surrounded by like-minded strangers. I was sweating, adorned with a flower garland and glowsticks, and all sober. Mindblowing that I actually managed it, but also mindblowing that I had the best time! Sober Clubbing Part 3 is on the 3rd of June and I’ve already signed up for it with a super early bird ticket.

sober clubbing

There was also a vegan meetup group on meetup.com so may dip my toe in with this next time too. I’d like to get out there and socialise some more and that seems a good way to do it! All round sober clubbing was a hugely positive and enjoyable experience, no hangover, healthy snacks, calories burned and a lot of fun!

Thanks for reading and you can find me on InstagramFacebookTwitterMy Fitness Pal and Fitbit. Add me on any or all, I love new friends on all social media for support and updates from me!

 

onederland

Stuck at the edge of Onederland

I thought I should give some kind of update with progress, and unfortunately at the moment that progress is minimal and I’m stuck at the edge of Onederland, I seem to be bouncing between the same 3 – 4 pounds continually, not managing to get any of them to stick.

Is it because it has got to that point in the year where the New Years Resolutions are well and truly a distant memory? Is it because I’ve had quite a successful year up to this point and my body needs a break? Is it because I’ve had a few social events and reasons to eat out? Is it because I’ve started running properly again? I’ll break all of these down but I actually think it is a little to do with all of them.

New Years Resolutions

How can it be May already? We are at that point where I am going to hazard a guess that most people have already long quit their New Years Resolutions. I don’t think I’m one of them, I still have my eye on the year long goal. But my focus has definitely began to slip a little.

My body needs a break? 

I am a firm believer in set-point theory around weight loss, that your body reaches a high weight and is continually trying to get back to it, seeing this as the safest weight to be at in case of famine etc. Losing weight is not easy, all of us would be a healthy weight if it was. A combination of evolution driving us to the bad foods, and the set point, it’s difficult to do, especially for large amounts of weight and over an extended period of time. I’ve lost a fair bit of weight this year and quite honestly I think my body is holding on a lot harder now than it was at the start of the year.

Social Events?

I’ve been out a couple of times with friends recently and for me this is always an excuse to eat more. This then tends to bleed into the weeks around the days out. Not huge “stuffing your face eating” but enough to slow my weight loss. I’m not willing to give up all social events but I would like to find a way of dealing with this.

Running?

This is the biggie I think. Whenever I up my running time my weight loss slows to a complete halt. It happened last year when I was training to do the 10k, and it has happened again this year now I have been upping my distances. Why though? I do eat more when I’m doing longer runs, I am definitely hungrier and when I look at the calories burned via my fitbit, even if I half these I am still not eating near the limit. Or am I kidding myself? Am I sneaking a little bit more here and there? And, am I really burning what my fitbit says? I am beginning to seriously doubt it. So, what are my options? Well, run less and eat the same, or run more and eat less. With a holiday to Spain coming up I have temporarily decided to shelve longer distances. Initially I was planning to completing a 10 mile race later this month, and while I’m sure I can train up to that distance in time (My longest run recently was 13 km, 16 km is 10 miles), I’m not sure I want to. Running will surely be easier the thinner I am, so I think I again need to drag my focus back to losing weight, not running further/faster.

I do worry I am self sabotaging as I have reached (and am still in) Onederland. Hopefully constantly reviewing and revising my progress helps with this.

My plans over the run up to the holiday are to really nail the whole foods plant based food, and to eat at a deficit, but enough to feel full. My eating has been a little lazy, no doubt. I’m maintaining but not losing and it’s not good enough. I’ve been re-reading the starch solution and I’m adding more potatoes into my diet, I love them, they fill me up, plus I believe they are very good for you. Can’t face going the full spudfit route (eating only potatoes).

Thanks for reading and you can find me on InstagramFacebookTwitterMy Fitness Pal and Fitbit. Add me on any or all, I love new friends on all social media for support and updates from me!

Hurtful Comments

I’ve had my fair share of hurtful comments along the way, most of them while at my highest weight. Mostly while out at the weekends, where you are trying to make an effort to look nice and some drunk idiot shouts a name at you and brings you crashing down in seconds. If my self esteem was a little stronger these comments probably wouldn’t hurt so much, but I think the issue is deep inside I’m telling myself the same thing. Sad but true and I suspect many people probably feel the same way.

Well tonight I had a hurtful comment from someone I expected more of. I showed them the picture I shared on the site in my last post of my face to face comparison, and proudly told them I was going to post it in my first ever #facetofacefriday. I see people posting in these and #transformationtuesday on Instagram and always want to but have felt like a bit of a fraud until yesterday when I compared those pictures. So it’s great (!) to show them to someone close (the only actual real life person I have shown them to) and have them bring you skidding back into the low self esteem.

When shown the picture, first of all they squinted, took my phone off me. Comment 1 was “Your face looks unhealthily thin in the second picture, I never noticed“. Comment 2 was, “Oh and your skin looked better in the first one“. At this point I bluntly told them to get to f*ck and that they were being totally out of order, this was followed by a quick “But you look much better now!”. Yeah, I don’t believe it. Well, no, that’s not strictly true, I do think I look much better now, I was just completely shocked.

This person has never been hugely supportive of me losing weight, mentioning about not losing too much, what about the loose skin etc etc, focusing on the negatives instead of the massive positives. Never thinking of what I want, health an vitality, seriously, eff the loose skin, I want to live longer, and healthier. Not that they have been unsupportive either, more a casual, slightly disinterested observer. Not revelling in my successes, not kicking me when I’m down. Just completely average.

My instant reaction was to get angry, then sad. Queue 10 minutes of crying to myself listening to Radiohead. I’m not usually a crier but for some reason this really hurt me. This person then accused me looking for a reason to get offended and that I had taken the comment out of context. Asking for clarification of context, they said, I just meant in that picture, of course I look better now. Too little too late I’m afraid.

Honestly, I’m sorry for the rant, but when things like this happen, especially from close people I am so saddened. When you can’t be supported by those closest to you it’s a sad day. Even if they thought what they thought, would that not have been an appropriate time to keep it to themselves? I certainly would have. I would have considered what the other person would have felt. Am I being overdramatic? On edge? They did apologise eventually but now I feel they were forced into it and only did it because they could sense this was a big hurt for me.

This has taught me something I already knew, my self esteem is not in a good place. It never has been. If it was stronger I could have just shrugged this off, but this really upset me. Really, in an idea world, what other people think about me would have little to no effect, because I know and believe what I think about myself. I would like to find some way of working on this. My self esteem has never been good, but losing weight doesn’t appear to have helped it. I’m stuck in this weird place in my head where I’m still 70 pounds heavier, barely able to see the difference in my body. I’m not sure where to go from here with it but I’m always open to suggestions.

Feel free to hit me up on InstagramFacebookTwitterMy Fitness Pal and Fitbit. Any tips for improving self esteem would be much appreciated.

Onederland | Vegan Weight Loss

You know you are on a long term weight loss journey when Onederland becomes a mythical place of wonder and joy. Okay, maybe a little too far but honestly, this weekend when I reached it, I was feeling pretty full of wonder and joy.

onederland

So what is Onederland? I believe the standard definition is when you reach into the 100 and something pounds as opposed to the 200 and something. I first heard of onederland way back in 2011 when I first started using my fitness pal. My start weight was 270 pounds, 199 seemed a long, probably unachievable way. Then I began to lose weight pretty steadily, I got to 213, less than a stone to go! Then I fell well and truly off the wagon, over a few years of yoyoing back up and down, in May 2015 I arrived back at my original 270 pounds. The losses of my parents over the previous two years had really affected me, left me at my most unhealthy, barely able to walk for 10 minutes without stopping to catch my breath, but something about watching my dad get sick and ultimately die made me see my own mortality, and the I understood the damage I was doing to myself.

Onederland was a painful reminder of how close I had previously been, and I think somewhere inside I thought I was destined to never reach it again. 2.5 years later and I stepped on the scales this weekend to see 199. I could have cried. 71 pounds lost, 5 stone, 100 and something. It was overwhelming. I still have a long way to go, 59 pounds until I reach my loose goal of 140 pounds, but this was a massive achievement and I really feel I can do this. After the damage of last weekend I have been pretty good all week and it’s great to see it pay off. I was out this weekend, had a few drinks and not the best food but not enough to put anything on so I’m not worrying about it.

I also dug out some old pictures this weekend of me at my heaviest and while I will hold onto the worst for when I get to my target I thought I would do a little face to face comparison. A lot of the time I can’t see that I’ve lost weight, but these pictures really highlight it to me. Picture on the left was 2011, picture on the right was Saturday.

Onederland Face Comparison

Thanks for reading and you can find me on InstagramFacebookTwitterMy Fitness Pal and Fitbit. Add me on any or all, I love new friends on all social media for support and updates from me!

Bad weekend…

Unfortuantely not all of my posts are positive and successful, sometimes reality bites and you just mess it up all by yourself. My mess up this week started on Saturday morning. I was out with my husband and daughter picking up something from my husbands work, while waiting in the car I went on Facebook and saw that the Love Vegan Festial was on in nearby Partick. I had went down as an interested in this a while back, but I was only 20 minutes away now so convinced my husband a quick trip there would be worth it.

Well, we all know the main reason for going to these events, food. Vegan junk food, everywhere. I was fasting, but duly bought a huge sgaia mheats roll, pizza, pies, doughnuts, cakes, pretty much everything unhealthy. I didn’t eat anything there though and brought it home as to not completely destroy my eating window. Around 2pm I had the sgaia roll, it was so salty and oily, the complete opposite to my recent diet. While it was delicious I think my body was in shock. I had to go for a lie down afterwards and drink about a litre of water. Later on that evening I had my dinner (not a hugely healthy one!), then half a doughnut and a fairly cake. The icing was so sweet I had to scrape it off, again, I think my taste buds have changed. My daughter scraped hers off too, she is pretty healthy nowadays so I think suffers from the same problem when it comes to sugar.

Next day I was so bloated, my weight was a way up, clearly because of the sodium as there was no way I could have put on even 1 single pound from that afternoon. I ended up out all day again, and had a reasonable day, fasting until 3 pm which was very late for me at the weekend but felt necessary after feeling so bloated the day before.

Dinner rolled around, and what happened? A chinese! Vegetable Curry with boiled rice and salt and chilli mini spring rolls. A huge portion, to be fair I barely ate anything else that day but after an already bloated day it is safe to say when I stepped on the scales on Monday I could have cried. I was up 7 pounds. Impossible to have gained that in fat, if one poun is 3500 calories I would have had to have eaten 24,500 extra calories, which I clearly didn’t. Sunday and Monday were not good days for my mental health either, I had a real dip, one of the first I have had in a long time, now it is Tuesday, looking back I believe that in part was due to what I was eating.

I took double water with me to work Monday and Today and I’m beginning to flush some of it out of my system. I was down a pound a half this morning and hopefully tomorow it’ll be more. I’m just so annoyed at myself for going so out of control for a weekend, I am so close to onederland, and I feel sometimes I start self sabotaging at this point.

Yesterday and Today have been good with food, I have done two 20 hour fasts back to back, and if the weather is nice I’m going to head out for a run tomorrow. I suppose the plus side to this is that I have stopped it before it went any further. I still fasted, so it could have been worse there too. And, the food made me feel downright ill, physically and mentally. Plus the flavours were overwhelming. If I am being honest it has put me off some of it, so maybe that’s a win overall!

Hopefully next week I’ll reach the elusive onderland. I’ve got a couple of social occasions coming up so I really want to stick with it during the week 100% so the weekends don’t impact me too hard.

Thanks for reading and you can find me on InstagramFacebookTwitterMy Fitness Pal and Fitbit. Add me on any or all, I love new friends on all social media for support and updates from me!

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